I feel I need to move because I work for my in laws. If we are divorced I think it's a bad idea to stay working for and living here. In laws house is right next door. It's actually been a good thing. My W and her mom are close.
Her parents have another house in another state. We used to live there and that's where she's at now. Her parents have been there since August. They are suppose to be back here this weekend or next week.
I'm looking at staying till the divorce is final at least. That's what I'm thinking anyway. Still too early to tell.
I'm having a hard time packing her things. I look around the house and have a plan for it but just can't do it. I start to and just can't. Maybe it's too soon or some bit of hope idk.
No friends to hangout with tonight. I'm still a little sick too.
I'm feeling bad about all this. I don't want a divorce.
Sorry burning heart, I know how hard it is. Some of my W's stuff is still at my house as well. I threw out her toothbrush just a couple of days ago. I moved the majority of her items to the garage. Even though it was difficult at the time, I made myself do it and feel a lot better now.
You can do it lovingly if you want, take the time to organize and label the boxes as you go or something. Put on your favorite tunes and get it done.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
A change of scene might be just the thing you need. I understand that. My wife moved to her parents. I live in our house. I started changing the insides around. Still if I had to live next to her parents, that'd be tough. good luck. do for you. let her go and let yourself go. you deserve it.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Yeah. I'm here looking at things but have yet to put anything in boxes. I looked through her dresser and night stand...found little notes I used to leave for her before I went to work or while she was sleeping. She kept them. Some places I knew she put them-inside medicine cabinet, on a shelf in her vanity area, etc. But didn't know how many she did keep. They are in drawers, on shelves, inbetween books, so on. It makes me cry. I'm missing her so much.
I'll pack things properly and label boxes. Plan to start it tomorrow. I'll still have to work so it won't be all day but if I give it some time it shouldn't take too long. A few days or so and I should have it done. Matter of starting and seeing it through.
She's made it clear to friends that she's not coming back here. I know she's only seeing negative and speaking in absolutes but it doesn't make it easier, for me anyway.
I'm going to let her know that I'm packing the house, insurance policies will soon be changed, and that I can't support her by sending money. I think this will be a reality check for her and it's needed. The idea is it'll gey things moving one way or another. Idk if it's a good thing yet but she does need to know. I feel stuck.
I'm trying to be patient but idk if that's best right now. My goal is to be together again. I've given it a lot of thought. It's what I want but it's all up to her when and if.
Regarding changing insurance policies, I'm not allowed to do that where I am until the divorce is finalized. I would check and make sure you're allowed to do so before making any changes.
I agree with not supporting her by sending her money, I think my W had a realization at that point at just how Spartan her new lifestyle would be on her own.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
My wife announced yesterday that she is moving out. I thought she already had a place in mind for Feb. 1st but she stated she 'is still looking for places'.
This seems so unreal. I am trying to wrap my head around her need for space rather than the gut wrenching self pity/pain this situation brings up in me. I am trying to concentrate on just making myself a better person regardless of the situation but the other half of me is screaming for me to 'do something'.
Do something like yell, 'wtf are you thinking you crazy woman'! 'You are destroying what we have built. You have no idea how little we can afford something like this'. That thought process wars with the attempted acceptance that this is too far gone and at this stage she must move out.
Not that 'too far gone' means nothing will ever work out/we are done permanently. But more like the past damage requires this separation as the only potential way back to reconciliation.
Who knows, i certainly don't!
me 41 w43 married 20 years BD 10/10/13 ILYBNILWY.... 4 kids, 21,18,8,6
