Packing more of her things today. It's tough but I have to keep at it.
As days pass I lose some hope. Packing her things was because of the affair and she said early on she wasn't coming back here (we moved from a big city to nowhere land 6 months after wedding, it was temporary to save money, stayed here too long, over 2 years here).
I thought if I moved back (stated why in previous thread, work for in laws) that we would have a better chance at reconciliation.
From what I gather there was an EA for a month, now probably PA. MIL told me OM was moving to her city Christmas week. Not good.
W also won't talk to me or anyone about our situation. She did early on but started getting upset with in laws (they don't agree with her). Not good.
Our communication started drying up a couple weeks ago. She asked for money and I haven't replied or sent any.
It feels hopeless. And I'm not so sure if moving her things was right. Idk.
I like vague and late. Perhaps she was just getting a flash of guilt. Who knows. Is part of the detaching process that you don't dwell on the possibilities? Easier said than done i know.
me 41 w43 married 20 years BD 10/10/13 ILYBNILWY.... 4 kids, 21,18,8,6
Well I let her know I was busy with work. I didn't answer her question of how I was. I let it go. She made a few replies how that's good or ok but nothing else.
I asked how she was....nothing 4 hours now. I don't get it. Keeping some communication? Toying with me? Wth?
Maybe she wanted to ask if you sent the masks and money yet?
This is why trying to mind read is never good for you. Just as one thing jumps into your head, you progressively let it escalate till anger/resentment take over.
I know its hard, but you really need to stop trying to ask the why's and the when's.
You really need to focus on just slowing things down a bit, for your sanity, for your health, for your situation. Its like if think by pushing her out of your life, your just suddenly going to forget about her. Sorry my friend it doesn't work that way.
The more you push the more you feel guilty.
Tonight, I want you to take a job around the block, if SHE comes into your mind, SPRINT till you burn the stress off. If its too late or too cold outside. Drop on the floor and do pushups till you cant do another one. Burn some frustrations off.
Allow yourself to grieve, but don't wallow in it. If you really want her to regret it. Then make yourself the best damn MAN out there!!! Who knows what the future will bring, if you allow yourself to give her time and space, not resentment and anger, you might just surprise yourself and her.
Keep a log on running, same route, time it, write it down. Keep a log of how many pushups/situps you do everyday. Try to surpass/beat ea day. Get to work friend, you can do this. It starts with taking care of you!!!
I sent a pic of the sunset to W. A sunset she's seen many times. Her response was, "wow that's beautiful". I said, "it is, I thought of you". Awhile later...,"thank you".
Hi BH, I have not had a chance to learn about your sitch from the beginning, but wanted to respond to this latest post.
Why did you send the picture to your W? What were your expectations when you sent it, and when you sent the comment about thinking of her? What reaction could she have had that would not have prompted you to say "WTH"?
And to answer the question, WTH . . . who knows? You will drive yourself insane if you keep doing this.
P.S. If you have a few minutes to create a signature, I would recommend it. It really helps others to remember your sitch without having to scroll back a ton.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
Hi burning heart, I thought I would join in as well. Went back to your first topic to see how and what. melissag is right, stop initiating firstly, no more photo's. Start working on yourself first. If she sends you a text, start doing the 48 hour rule (unless it is an emergency type), that is do not reply for 48 hours. Then send her a nice reply. Stop the "I love you", "I miss you", "this reminds me of you", she doesn't want to hear this. Make her miss you. Make her realise she wants you. Read those 37 rules and follow them. Where you are now, it is going to be a marathon not a sprint. It will take time, lots of it. Couple of questions: you are out in the sticks, where you both have been for a while? And she went back home to the city and where the OM is? This is what made me read about your sitch. My sitch has my W now over 600 miles away. I moved back to the city, while she stayed in the country with the other woman.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
She initiated contact earlier in the day. I didn't answer her question of how I'm doing. I let it go. She knew I was working so it took me time to reply. When I could I asked how she was, no reply. A few hours later, after work, I sent the pic. It was a sunset she seen for two years. A sunset we watched together many times. I sent it because I didn't get a reply earlier. I had no real expectations but knew she would reply with something.
It's the sporadic contact from her that is messing with me. I don't understand. And I was told she removed all pics of me from her fb page. Wedding pics only of her. I don't get that either.
Contact is contact. Good, bad, whatever. I take contact as a good thing. And we haven't had much lately.
