4th quarter, Not looking forward to OT

[ericmsant2]

Jfun

I am sorry about the loss of your stepfather. My condolences to you and your family.

Take some time to grieve the loss of your stepfather. Have you had a chance to schedule some away time for you?

June is only a few months away JFun…only a few more months.

FWIW, a friend of mine used to remind me on the days that I wanted to quit and say F it...... "I want to quit but I will not do it today. I may do it tomorrow - just not today".

You are a strong man JFun - please take pride in this.

Instead of looking at what she is doing to YOU....

Look at what YOU are showing YOUR kids...

Look at the lessons they are learning....

Consider the impact YOU are having on your kids...

[Lostforwords]

Jfun,

Sorry about your stepfather.

Be strong for children Jfun....Be a man they can always look up to.

[ericmsant2]

Hey JF - hope everything is okay. Wanted to stop by and say hello as well as offer a little support....

I try to have a little humor when faced with some challenging chit...so here is a little riddle for you...

What does a chicken, ox, fox, eagle, ex wife, children, teachers, cooks, taxi drivers all have in common?

[JFun51]

Been thinking bout this one all day. You've stumped me Eric.

[Rick1963]

Two ships that pass inv the night? I think that's how u say it right?

[AJM]

They all try to cross the road at some point?

[JFun51]

Been thinking a lot about fear and anger lately. Thanks to some friends, processing a lot of feelings of being stuck this week.

I am angry that I am working as hard on myself and understanding my situation and my W is basically living in teenage fantasy land.

I'm angry that every single thing that W complained about as reasons that she doesn't love me anymore have been taken away.

I'm angry that I'm living with a woman that basically acts like she hates me every moment of every day.

I'm angry that nothing changes with my M no matter what I do or what person I have become.

My greatest fear is that if separation/divorce happens, my children will be lost to me. That they will somehow choose her over me.

I no longer fear losing her.

I no longer fear being alone.

I no longer fear that I'll never find someone else to love me.

I am terrified that I will lose my kids. That they will choose her and fulfill everything that she has said.

So that's where I'm at today.

[TL72*]

I don't have kids but I was one once and my parents divorced.
None of that changes their love for you. You will always be their parent, no one can take that away - they will always love you. It will be a different arrangement for sure, but kids cope and adjust and they will not have any reason to not want to be with you or see you or love you. This is a temporary thing, even if they live with her most of the time eventually they grow up and out and you will have a normal relationship with your kids forever. I didn't see my dad for awhile when he moved to a different state but by then I was an adult and we have a great relationship today via email, phone, and we get together for dinner a couple times a year. Yours are young still but nothing is going to change what they know in their hearts - that you are their dad. Kids are smart too - I knew my mom was doing wrong by my father at an early age, she had many EA and PA and I found out before i was 12. They stayed married many years after that and it continued the whole time. So I knew that she was doing wrong and she was in her own fantasy land. I didn't like her at all as a teenager and wished they would divorce so I could live with my dad actually. Now we have a decent relationship and I have a better understanding about why she did the things she did. sorry I got side tracked rambling there - basically I just wanted to respond to you because it is nice to have responses and I believe that your children will know that you love them and they will love you in return - no matter what.

[AJM]

TL, You have a better understanding why your mom did what she did? Care to share? Might help.

Jfun - glad you're still posting. Glad you're angry too, although it's not a real fun place to hang out, yeah?

I'm angry that nothing changes with my M no matter what I do or what person I have become

Eric may come along a bit later, but I'd paraphrase that as "I do everything I can to control the outcome of my marriage and nothing is working! It makes me angry that I cannot control the outcome!"

Seem about right?

AJ

[ericmsant2]

JFun

Have to run to take my daughter to dance...I will post a little later on today..

Know this....

YOU my friend WILL NEVER EVER lose your KIDS. NEVER. EVER. EVER!

My oldest son did not speak to me for a long time. He was told that I cheated. To say that he would look at me with hate would be an understatement. Guess what...he loves daddy. Lived with me full time for a year and just started going back to his mom's half the time.

YOU will not lose them. DO not be afraid. I was frozen by it...completely frozen.

Scan my fb pics.... see that good looking one, that's me. LOL. just kidding..that is my son.

It's gonna be okay man. Really.

YOU have done one hell of a job....now though...you need a little rest... I'll post more later.