Is it just me and I have not heard, or was the decision of moving decided here?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Bond - the walk away thing is my next level. I am not sure about the utility of getting angry, besides venting.
Luke
Whatever gets you to the point where you stick up for yourself and set the boundary that your W may not speak to you and treat you the way she does. Nothing else seems to have worked, so perhaps anger will.
What exactly did you say when you went "upstairs and [asked] if W had time to talk."? Be honest.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
"I am not sure about the utility of getting angry, besides venting. "
Really? The point is for you to start showing some PASSION about something! You let her insult you constantly and that has carried on to your relationship with your children. You're afraid to hug them even. This will carry onto EVERY SINGLE relationship henceforth. Start by getting some self-respect back.
I will tell you one thing. Your M has failed because YOU have failed at doing this. Your W has told you time and time and time and time again to start growing a pair and argue back with her. The majority of women will be like that. Honestly, I've never seen a more dull and passive individual as you are on the boards. That's not an insult. That's just a fact. Through the years, I've never seen you show any signs of self-respect even when your W is walking all over you. You just accept it and ask for more.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
PM - I asked if she a few minutes to talk. That I had thought about how poor our R was/is and that while I thought D was not a good solution, perhaps it was the best.
Is that the details you wanted?
Bond - I appreciate all the pointers and goading, but not the insult; that is the first time I've been called "dull". I feel like I did the wrong thing and that nothing seems to satisfy you.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
o we are both parents, I said, and expect 50/50 custody. It turns out that after 16 there is no custody, and the child is free to decide themselves. Child support is expected for full time students up to the age of 21. I don't like this no custody thing.
Why do you say you don't like the no custody thing? Do you fear you will not spend time with your daughter?
If your relationship with your daughter improves, she will want to spend just as much time with you as with her mom. And the wonderful part is you will know it's not the law in forcing it, but her own choice.
Now that you've kind of broken the ice by having the D talk with your W and she knows you aren't fighting it........she should have no reason to act like a horse's behind.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hi sandi2 - yes, I fear that d15 will prefer being with her mom. My W can be very charming, and certainly knows more about girls/women than I do (!).
I did the same dish drying thing you did, and kind of liked it (though the towel always got too wet).
The passion thing is important to me, believe me, having spent enough weekends suffering from "sunday sickness", as Frankl calls it, with nothing to do, just puttering at the office, with no one else around. Meetup has helped, and I've met people I like and had fun. I suspect that being in the university city will be conducive on that front too.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
