Sandi2's 37 Rules

[rednet]

I thought I had posted on this. I have made so many of these mistakes over the last few weeks but starting today I am done. Although I really do want to save my marriage I think these things will help either way. Thanks so much.

[FL3Boys]

My wife told me in December that she was unhappy, and didn’t think our marriage would last until Christmas a year later. Things have gradually gotten worse, and she is moving out June 1.

I have begun implementing the 7-step process, or, more accurately, the “last resort” step. I'm following Sandi2's 37 rules.

I am making serious changes. I have lost nearly 40 pounds since December (I was 6’ tall, and 257 lbs, I am now 218 lbs). I exercise regularly and and trying to stay positive and “light hearted” at all times when around my wife.

I have stopped “chasing” her, looking pathetic, and saying “I love you” only to hear nothing, or “I know”.

My biggest problem is that when I am near her, I am SO COMPLETELY attracted to her. She’s the one woman in my life who just “does it for me”. Always has. We are both in our early forties, and she is extremely fit and beautiful.

It’s the knowledge that I may never again have her that sends me careening into depression.

I’m okay if I stay at work, or exercise, or am not around her, but when I see her in the morning, or at dinner, or anytime, I just want to touch her.

Any suggestions on what to do when this gnawing, aching feeling persists?

How can I overcome it?

[rednet]

Gonna give the happiness advantage a read, thanks for the tip.

[rednet]

This week I stopped initiating contact since I was the only one doing it but as I have been reading DB it seems counter intuitive, feeling kinda lost since before I cut contact we seem to be having some decent interaction, what to do?

[Oxford1]

I have a unique and challenging issue. My wife's had left the home and lived with OM for ten weeks. We went through ups and downs of communication. I would go dark and she would text me over and over, a few times she would email me we are done and proceeding to divorce.

Recently we ended up at both the Collaborative divorce coach and financial planner. Our finances are a mess. The collaborative coach drew up boundaries
She moved back in on Thursday night, we had no contact until Saturday.

The issue is she is continuing her affair, I get the ilybnily speech on and off and she cries a lot.

Yesterday we did a lot together, the gym, took a walk,mate dinners during the walk we had a lay it on the line get it off my chest, it eventually lead to what I saw as the issues with OM.

Then at home Little bit aboutt her she with him.

Last night we watches tv together and sat in the same bed. When she fell to sleep I went to my room.

I am confused, because I saw a video where Michele says to ignore the affair ,they last two years etc.

But remember she ran away even went to his country,now she's home..

I switched from some of the other boards where they wanted me to throw her under the bus.

I so have two threads ( one closed) on here.

I read DR.

I am just trying to wrap my head around the best way to handle this in home thing and be that husband no woman would want to leave, but she's still in her relationship, and thinks eventually we will divorce and she will go off with him..

[unbidden]

You've asked this same question many, many times in several different topics but you are still resistant to taking advice. Lots of folks here are dealing with affairs and a spouse who is still in the same house. It's time to stop asking and start doing.

[Italian]

Excellent rules! I'll be treasuring them

[LBSinTX]

Pure gold! Trying to live by them.

[ItHurts]

May I ask why #36 is on here? Doesn't GAL involve socializing with friends in bars to some people? This rule confuses me. What problem could arise. Also, do these rules apply to a WAW that isn't in the same residence with whom we are in strict NC with?

[MrBond]

ItHurts,

Have you actually read DB or DR?