Im not seeking attention.. I have already faced my crap, I have already heard it and actually saw ALOT.... Thanks.
I am empowered now and am empowered by my self worth and goals.
Thanks for your input... but I know who I am, now..finally. As mentioned, I know there will be skeptics...thats fine. Please keep these types of comments to yourself. They are unwarranted and you are having a bad day... mind reading stuff, trying to profile... its not me.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
to add... It has been beneficial to be called out on my crap.. it makes you look deeper.
With that said... I will consider what you are trying to suggest. However, the profiling stuff is crap!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
I am in a better place. I know that I want commitment, I know that he does too.
No, he doesn't. You have a 10+ year track record from him that indicates that, and you're changing nothing about the dynamic that led to that behavior from him.
We really do teach people how to treat us, I firmly believe that.
Hey Starsky.. I truly believe that too.. I totally let him treat me like crap! I totally jammed commitment/marriage down his throat for 20 years... chasing him. Never letting it come naturally from him.
~~~~~~~~~~~
its about pressure, and labels.... he's afraid to disappoint me. Having expectations for commitment, when he just wants to "review the possibility". I think I just need to let it "be"... for now.
If anyone can recall, I am one who "controls the outcome"... constantly trying to steer the ship. I need to back off... just live, take the pressure off and see what happens. First sign of bad habits again, back away.
Exclusive- safe environment to see if our relationship is workable, without outsiders, without expectation. As if you are with a brand new person.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
I think u just nailed it Starsky.... for 20 years, I hadn't changed the dynamic... wanting marriage commitment. Not allowing him to "want" it on his own. I "expected" it... just like now since BD... expecting to reconcile. Controlling.
I need to let go of his wheel!!! I am changing that dynamic so that he can come to his own conclusions. (He has already stated he wants commitment & wishes he had bought me a ring).
I just need to let him drive.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
GM... I don't believe he has that agenda and he would not want to hurt me.
I see a person who was in a committed relationship, and admits he wants that again. Thats how I Know. He is not a player!! He just won't commit RIGHT NOW. He wants to date me and do things on his terms because he is afraid that I will hold him accountable. He wants it to lead up to more. Naturally... if it happens. He has said since day 1 he is not against reconciliation and he believes people get back together.
I think he just needs the space to follow it through, without my pressure.
I won't be a fool... I am empowered, and am looking out for #1
~~~~~~~~~~~
The house I am renting, is now officially sold with a closing in June. He just called feeling the pressure for me and wants to ensure that I am not in a stuck position come that day. He has heard of a place that might be interesting/affordable without agents... wants me to go look at it. He said he is willing to do ANYTHING to help me out.
I guess it doesn't hurt to look.
Until the money is in my HAND, I cannot make any firm decisions though.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
held accountable for disappointing me, with promises he is not "READY" to make...yet.
He is trying to "get there".
He is NOT trying or suggesting to BE or make attempts with others... he was clear. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Probably best that you sit on the sidelines GM until we see what he is all about. This is what I am trying to "see" too.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
What's interesting to me is how you become the most animated and focused on yourself when I suggest you have some sort of "profile." What's up with that?
When I suggest you have some issues to address, beyond your relationship issues...
I mention you may have some hidden problems with alcohol or some such addiction and you kinda flip. You did it before too.
But, maybe it's my imagination. Got plenty on my own plate.
Wish you well.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
