Punahou. He also decided to go to USC this fall, so I will be able to see him more often. We're also going to work on getting him a German passport, so he can study free in Europe.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
Barak Obama's school. Very impressive. My cousin will also be graduating there at the same time. It would be funny to run into you there without realizing it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Kids go through phases. My sons would rather have their fingernails pulled out than go to a movie, for a walk, or whatever with me. I still know they love me because I'm their mom, and I still try, and have good humor when they say no. It's not rejection so much as individuation (not sure I've spelled that right) aka becoming their own men.
It would be silly of me to throw in the towel and distance myself from them because they don't want to hang out with me right now.
What matters is that they know I love them... because I make things they like to eat, because I hug and kiss them while they cringe sometimes, because I listen to them and ask questions. I'm their mom, so I assume they love me.
Your competition with your W is not good. You don't have to do grand productions to woo your daughter. Just keep inviting her on walks and meals out and talking to her, writing to her.
Kids only get two parents so you have very little competition for DAD. Just be one.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Hi Luke I am with Adinva. Even if she does not llook like she is your daughter is storing away the things you are doing..and this too is a long term process.. the marathon not the sprint so you will be good at that.. with her note she showed you she is not oblivious to what is happening.. hang in there. I was the mother from hell apparently. Too demanding, high expectations, no ju k food, no alcohol, no drugs made her get a part time job.. and she loves me now and we talk and the relationship is good. You sound much nicer. ? are you German ? I thought Swedish. The girl who turned my wild child bad boy into a lovely man is Swedish. I will be ever grateful to that natio n.... good luck tomorow..under 2 hours?
Hi Lou - I am American born to German immigrants, but have lived In Europe for 25 years now. D16 has been sending little notes yesterday and today, so that is nice. My W sounds similar to you- with the expectations and job and standards- I agree with this to some extent but yes am the kinder forgiving person in the family. D16 is going through dh Lawrence sons and lovers just now part of a 100 best books list -
I am a snail at running, but will try to run more strategically today - will see where that leads. Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
Hi Luke I am also a snail though improving a little will let you know in a few weeks!
The notes are good I think.. she sounds very clever..My daughter always loved her daddy best.. and the feeling was mutual.. actually I did not mind I figured my job was to make her tough so she could survive in the world as a woman and not be walked over by men. I did a good job there she is one of the strongest young women I know. Did you hide the laptop? Loua
"D16 has been sending little notes yesterday and today"
This is excellent. This is what you've been asking for. this is her showing you love.
always respond, SMS her some pics of where you are. they dont have to be good pics. the goal would be to keep reminding her that you are thinking about her.
if little notes are her way of making a connection, then use it to your advantage.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
I've been sending an email a day and a few pictures, as you suggested, along with loose mentions of "MBA magic" (think laptop, not business degree...). Thanks for the suggestions. I am doing the same for s20 also, and he seems to like it, so that is good.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
