Thsnks mamab and wonka. I do appreciate you looking in on me.
Last night i had dinner with D16's BF parents. The kids asked if i would like to meet them as they have been dating for a while now. I really like them. I appreciate the people thst D16 surrounds herself with. I thanked BF's mom for taking D16 ' under her wing' these past few months as a kind of surrugate mom. She has been very kind. Detachment continues full speed ahead. W seems more foreign each day. A new friendship is also beginning to form in my life. I am happy to see that there are kind people who will make time to visit with me and enjoy my company.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
Hi bug! I had my parenting class. That is required here. I enjoyed it and i liked meeting others like me. My story is tame compared to others.
W continues to be distant. I don't mind so much now. I now see my M for the dysfunctuonal thing it was. My new friendship is providing me some perspective too. I am just enjoying her company. She enjoys mine too. I needed that. I spend times with friends and with my kids. I've been out with my new friend several times as well. She makes time.for.me. W didn't do that for the past 10-12 years despite my requests to change that.
It is what it is i guess. Our first ( and hopefully only) mediation is this week for custody. I spoke briefly with W about what she wanted so i wasn't suprised. We are in the same page i think.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Custody mediation went well. It was the first time i hwve seen or spoken with W for an extended time in a while. W seemed to be mistrustful of me and the process. We reached a partial agreement and she decided to hire her own L to continue the process as she didn't feel comfortable that she clearly understood her rights about everything. We agreed thsts what was best if she felt that way.
She said i didn't give her much information about the activities at the house. I reminded her about my weekly status updares but said i had stopped them when she showed no interest in seeing them and when she didnt send her own schedule. I just thought i was over communicating. W said she did t communicate with me much over these months bc there was "always baggage when we communicate...." She said she was finnaly starting to feel better and wanted to continue feeling better. I ssid i was glad to hear thst for her. I agreed to begin sending a weekly update of kids schedules to her each Sunday night.
W Cried during the meeting a couple of times. I feel bad for her. To me she seems lost. But thats just me.....i told her i feel good nowand that i know we will be ok. She quietly nodded. I just don't understand everything i saw in her. Ghis is what she chose. Why isnt she happy?
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Sometimes we jump from the frying pan into the fire.
Even decisions that are good for us can be painful. I've had to do things that were good for my kids that were painful for me. I shed tears and questioned if I was doing the right thing. Have you had that experience?
Keep the focus on you. Has your growth brought you to a place that you're ready for a new R?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Hi bug. I feel at peace with my current place. I even felt good enough to tell her i knew we'd be ok. I missed companionship. My new friend is realistic that i am still possibly raw. Baby steps. It does feel nice that i am appreciated in ways that i have not been in a very long time. So far i feel good about things. I am kind of going with the flow for now.
What you mention makes sense. Like i told W, this whole thing stinks. I cant stop whats happening and she has no wish to do so . Still it hurts.
My kids respect me more now. I appreciste thst too. They know that i see someone and are happy that i seem happy. Baby steps.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
Tough days. D16 tried to commit suicide yesterday. The full reasons.are not known. She is in the hospital and stable. She is safe now. Time to heal.
On a separate note, i helped a friend with trouble.in his M find this site and this body of work. Its been a good place for me and i hope he will.find help.here
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
