Today I woke up feeling good, confident and ready for the day. I went to the gym, worked out hard and then came home took my daughter to lunch and to the outlet mall. WE bought some clothes and walked around.
On the drive home it hit me, thoughts of WAW. I miss her. Today is exactly 3 weeks since bomb and NC since.
The fear is creeping up on me, I'm scared she will never reach out to me. Scared she's enjoying her new life without me. Scared that maybe she didn't love me as much as she said she did. Scared that maybe she hasn't loved me in a long time and that house hunting and wanting me to buy her an engagement ring 3 days before the bomb were all lies.
Thornton, ride the pain and then like the warrior you are, tighten your grip on detaching and slay those fears and the blasted fortuneteller! I think we all get those doubts and terrifying fears of abandonment by our WAW but remember "lack of communication is the devil's playground" we are our own worst enemy so keep your mind occupied (hear the Rangers are doing well in the playoffs...) Three weeks is early in the game. No retreat, no surrender. Keep to the plan to win her back and GAL it up.
Me 42 W:35 M: 14yrs T:15yrs D: 8yrs D:6yrs S:3yrs BD: "I want a D"09/03/14 Sep: 30/06/14
Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Hi Thornton. Its hard. I still get a bit teary every so often when thinking about how H should be here with our family and what he IS missing out on. But that is his choice.
Keep busy. Focus on your daughter and your relationship with her. It never feels better to think about BD, but it does get easier. I didnt think I'd be off the couch, living life instead of a crying heap. But I am.
Now when I talk with my sister and friends or even IC, its not always about H or R.
One step forward. One at a time. You'll get there too. Keep on the board - journalling - it makes it easier to know your not crazy and the only one going thru this.
You can do it. You are doing it! Keep it up.
M:41 H:38 D:6 D:3 M:11 yrs T:15 yrs Bomb: Feb 8/14 Seperated: Feb 12/14
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Plato
Hey Thorn, She IS thinking about you, it's impossible for her not to be. She misses you. However whether she does or not should not concern you brother...you make yourself DA MAN and let the chips fall where they may. I'm a smidgen over a month since my bomb went off and although it feels like an ETERNITY, it's really not that long considering the severity of all that's happened the past 3 weeks for you. I broke down three times today myself...it really [censored], the sense of tragic loss...I know the pain...it's all WAVES though...none of us cries all day long right?
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
The fear is creeping up on me, I'm scared she will never reach out to me. Scared she's enjoying her new life without me. Scared that maybe she didn't love me as much as she said she did. Scared that maybe she hasn't loved me in a long time and that house hunting and wanting me to buy her an engagement ring 3 days before the bomb were all lies.
The Monsters in your head, are far worse than the reality that is....
You REALLY think that she is enjoying this ???
IF...she is really enjoying this, that would mean that she is making a conscious decision to hurt you...
I can tell you this. She doesn't have a clue of who she is, so how could she give herself to a relationship ????
