I think these are all normal thoughts and reactions when your partner wants "out" and you don't want that (and if not, I am right there with you on the madwoman front!)
I will admit that a few months ago I sent my H an email asking him to consider Retrovaille. He did not respond and did not mention it.
Even though I know I didn't "fail" at this, I have those thoughts periodically, too. We have our parts in this but we also weren't the ones that said out of the blue "I'm done and there's no discussing it!" We weren't even given a chance.
I also can't even fathom being physical with someone else. It's really scary to think about. I think that's my signal that I'm not ready to even consider dating yet - I can only view myself interacting with my H in that way. I am kind of naive when it comes to dating and I don't know what expectations are like nowadays at this age, as opposed to in high school - is a guy going to be p*ssed that I won't ML unless I feel REALLY comfortable/probably am even "in love" with them? I just can't imagine going on a few dates and then ML. There's gotta be some old fashioned guys out there who would be understanding, right? : )
I posted before on my own thread about how I got a semi-creepy secret admirer letter from someone who rides the bus, so I know there are people out there who would like me (heck, the person hadn't even TALKED to me and was in love with me, apparently!) but it's hard to believe I will be that comfortable enough with someone without years and years of interaction. Blah. It's easy to get ahead of ourselves.. I find myself thinking "Who is going to want to date someone who is divorced already at this age? They'll think something's seriously wrong with me!"
We don't have kids, but luckily I'm not feeling the pressure to hurry up and figure things out so I can find someone to have them with before it's "too late." My feeling is it's better to wait for someone that is a good fit (and with whom you can be happy for the rest of your life just the two of you, or three of you in your case!) rather than rush it because the clock is ticking.
I miss the physical things, too. It's starting to make me resentful, like too much time has been lost. Even just the little things, like a kiss when I come home after work or snuggling while watching TV.. those things you take for granted and are part of everyday life. It probably won't be too long before I go find a cat I can adopt and snuggle!
Like you said, though, most of this is getting ahead of ourselves. One thing at a time. Who knows what might happen tomorrow, in a month, or in a year.
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
I miss the physical things, too. It's starting to make me resentful, like too much time has been lost. Even just the little things, like a kiss when I come home after work or snuggling while watching TV.. those things you take for granted and are part of everyday life.
Especially the little things! Just brushing by one another in the kitchen when we were cooking together. Or, laying my feet up against his when we were going to sleep to syphon away his body heat for my always-freezing heat. I actually told him I missed that months ago. His response...wear socks. I really, really dislike sleeping alone. I can't say I like it one iota more today than I did five months ago when he moved out.
