Saving my family - Part 12

[Wonka]

Scorp,

You can be polite and cordial when the parents answer the phone. I wouldn't try to engage in a convo with them. However, you can state that you appreciate them for facilitating your connection with the kiddos and you enjoy talking with the kiddos. Then leave it at that. The parents are firmly in W's corner so you would want to be careful and respectful of that.

[Scorp7]

That's kinda what I thought Wonka. I've been as polite as possible whenever I've had contact with her parents. I had wondered by not trying to engage in any small talk that would have happened before that I might be playing into the idea that I don't like them etc.

I'll likely stick with what I have been doing.

[Scorp7]

There seem to be so many obstacles to trying to make any sort of R a possibility.

I told my W in an email last night that we are facing some major financial issues and I hoped that she and I could come to some sort of solution for them. I've received no response from her at all. The financial issues we're facing have all come about from our situation, before this we were tight but things were being managed.

My W is not contributing to paying for our mortgage or any of the other expenses related to our home. We have listed the acreage for sale but it's likely to take a while before it will sell. I've already dug deep into my savings to keep us afloat, meanwhile my W is apparently having a great time going out shopping for shoes and clothes for herself.

[Barrybran]

Sounds like fun times. Does it make a difference there how much each party puts into costs, particularly the mortgage, after separation? If so, are you documenting what you're putting in?

[ericmsant2]

Scorp

Glad to see that you have resolved your child custody issues.

As Gabbysmom23 said, I would not think of an R with your W right now.

I would continue to act as if you are going to remain separated.

[Scorp7]

Hi all, well I've had a few more positive developments over the last week. I've met with my W not once but TWICE over the last week. The first time she would really look at me much and we didn't say a lot but we were together with our kids for about 5 minutes. The second time we talked for a few minutes and it seemed to go pretty well. It was all about the kids which was fine and I wouldn't expect anything else at this point.

I hadn't seen my W face to face in over 8 months so to have this happened felt like a big step.

I'm going to be at a school event with my W and kids on Wednesday this week. I think that may be another big step.

[Scorp7]

As far as the financials my L is still going ahead and we are in the discovery phase of the process. I have everything documented quite well as far as what I'm paying, what my W is paying etc so I should be ok that way.

I'm doing really well personally. My band is up and running again, I'm in great shape physically, I'm going out with friends a bit and my time with my kids is amazing. Our acreage is for sale and I'm looking at properties in the town where my kids are.

My Mom has very little time left and I've been spending as much time with her as I can.

[Barrybran]

Sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds like everything else is going quite well for you.

[Scorp7]

Thanks Barry. My Mom is a fighter and she's still not giving up. I'm lucky in that I've been able to spend a lot of time with her.

I think things are getting much better between my W and I. In time I still believe anything is possible.

[Scorp7]

I've got some great news! My W and I have spent about 3 hours together with our kids over the past week We all attended a ceremony for our D4 earlier this week and spent over 2 hours talking together. I kept things very light and didn't engage in any R talk and things went VERY well.

I definitely have gotten the sense my W still has feelings for me. She still has her walls up but they've come WAY down. We've been together on several occasions now over the past couple of weeks and it's been amazing.

I guess I just need to stay the course with what I've been doing. If nothing else, my W and I are sharing time with our kids equally and we now are doing things together with them as well. We seem to be co-parenting in an open, honest and caring way so I am beyond happy with where things are right now and where they may be headed.

I had an overwhelming urge to give my W a big hug several times that we've been talking together. She has opened up to me that her life is very hectic and that she's having a hard time keeping up. I was sympathetic to her and tried to validate her feelings but I held back from going beyond that.