Great one liners - that helped me I I

[Smurf_SMR]

Courtesy of Cire2

Put The Glass Down


A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it.

He held it up for all to see; asked the students,' How much do you think this glass weighs?'

'50gms!' .... '100gms!' ......'125gms' ......the students answered.

'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor,'but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?'

'Nothing' the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.

'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?'

'Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress; paralysis;

Have to go to hospital for sure!'ventured another student; all the students laughed.

'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?' asked

The professor. 'No' the students said.

Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?'

The students were puzzled.

'Put the glass down!' said one of the students.

'Exactly!' said the professor.' Life's problems are something like this.

Hold it for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.

It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but

EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep.

That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!'


Remember to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!

[Smurf_SMR]

A couple of Quotes from Rollercoasterider (RCR)

Things will all work out in the end. If they haven't worked out yet, it must not be the end.

Every low blow from her brings you down more. You are subjecting yourself to this by giving her the opportunity to 'do the right things.' But she won't do that. By contacting her you are hearing what you don't want.

Hence detachment and minimum contact

[Smurf_SMR]

Courtesy of bambam1970

When Life is Hammering You

Life WILL hammer you and you won't understand why it is happening or how anything good can ever come of it. The real question will be HOW will you handle it? We can only see what's right in front of us, but God sees the whole picture....our destiny. If we choose to handle ourselves in a dignified manner with as much integrity as possible, we will be rewarded. I believe that.

[Smurf_SMR]

Courtesy of Walkingback

"Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you try to chase it, the harder it is to catch. Be still, and it will come and sit softly on your shoulder."

[Smurf_SMR]

Courtesy of Bworl

an analogy once that used to work for me. You're walking your beloved dog one day (on an extremely long leash). You're dog sees something that catches his attention and runs off, far from you. As time goes by, you begin to worry. What if my dog is lost? What if he can't find his way back? You start tugging on the extremely long leash.

Meanwhile, your dog has finished his long adventure and also realizes that he has wandered too far from you. He is frantically trying to find his way back to you, but his leash is all tangled up with all the stuff he ran through on his adventure.

You're pulling. He's pulling. Neither of you are getting anywhere. The two of you are NOT getting closer together.

What's the answer?

Drop the leash.

One of you has to stop pulling. Your dog sure can't disconnect himself, so you have to let him go. Eventually he will drag himself and the leash back to you.

But you have to let go.

[Smurf_SMR]

Courtesy of Wekin1 (Path Partners)

One would wonder why or how it could happen after so much water has passed over the dam. But I would remind people of how this all started in the beginning by asking some questions.

Would it have been any less difficult to visualize our wives going down this path prior to the point where the wheels started flying off?

Is it really conceivable that a person can be one person for 20 or 30 years and then permanently become the opposite?

Is it conceivable that a person could actually "pretend" to be happy, loving and fulfilled for decades without collapsing much sooner from the exhaustion in keeping up such a tremendous act? Even the best professional actors can't maintain character for that long.

Is it really conceivable that we were so blind that we mistook the thousands of gestures, intimate moments, sharing moments, acts of love, conversations, gifts, expressions and all the rest for something other than a comitted love relationship that was organic and genuine?

If hormonal shifting is normal, if it has the ability to change women's personalities for a week a month, isn't it possible that a MAJOR, sustained hormonal shift might also change a woman's personality for a longer period of time?

If a woman's hormonal cycling begins and ends monthly, is it not more easily acceptable that a major hormonal cycle, such as is proven to exist at midlife, will also end?

Guys, I am all about hope and optimism. I have repeatedly stated for over three years that hope is all I have ever had to stand on...even now amid MY second chance.

BUT...I am not about false hope...false optimism. That is not what I am offering to you here either. However, my hope is based on facts and reason and it had NEVER been reasonable to me that my W would change as dramatically as she did, forever.

I could not put a year or two of "craziness" on a scale and have it somehow outweigh 16 years of what I knew to be true of her. There is no way. We are not living in a Walt Disney world here...this is real life where the fantastic rarely is.
.....

[BigMac]

I love this thread. All the quotes stacking up is super great.

[MrBond]

Here's another:

Be the Lighthouse.

Your spouse is in huge conflict....

The good news is and the truth is that they are totally incapable of a healthy relationship with anyone right now...

The competition we believe that exists with the OP is a shallow, empty reflection of God's light in this world....

It is empty and lonely no matter how good the rush.

Their actions are actions that they themselves do not like in themselves right now....though the need to go back again and again and attempt to prove themselves wrong or right is strong....they do not like what they are doing....

Their actions towards you, the children, the OP and themselves keep them from engaging in any type of real interactions with real dept and truth.

All they offer are misguided attempts to fill the void that has appeared in their life....yet the filling is way to fleeting to sustain them and the truth is with them each night he or she lays down, regardless of whom is next to them....

They are the living cliche of...no matter where you go to hide, there YOU are.

He or she is lost to themselves.

And you stand at that point of being the lighthouse home. Even though they create the waves that block their vision from seeing that.

You become the lighthouse. You fill your home with light, calmness and sanctuary.

Just visualize yourself as a lighthouse.

You offer them glimpses into that sanctuary at every chance you get. You invite them towards it, let them know it is there as much as you can in a most subtle way.

They are untrustable right now, but you know that. So they can't hurt you right now. They will spend great energy to convince others differently, but you know better.

You show them the path by also protecting the children from their painful actions. Set clear boundaries that the OP is not part of your childrens lives, without love busting.

Offer alternatives that let them see the children, but be clear that the OP is to have no access to them. You fill the childrens lives with stability. They deserve it and need it more than anything else.

Do not discuss or power struggle with them on irrational movements. Seek out and validate the rational ones with lots of praise for when he or she chooses correctly.

Your spouse is very lonely and sad right now, but that is OK. No one can stay very long in that chaos..it is wearisome to the soul..

And remove yourself from any aspect of participating or adding to the chaos and eventually they will see that you are the only one who stood with clarity and reason when they needed it most.

Be the lighthouse...

[Matt165]

This one about the holding of the glass....
When her MLC started, my W couldn't sleep but maybe 2-3 hours a night. She would tell me how she would wake every night worrying about this or that. She still does this now that she has moved away. How can a person EVER be "happy" going through this night after night? How can they EVER find peace when they can't stop thinking what MAY happen? The worst thing WE can do is JOIN them in this craziness! I guess the thing is beware of the old adage "If you can't beat them, Join them", the last thing I want to do is join in HER craziness!!

[GoatGal]

I am enjoying this thread too.

I hope others continue to add to it.