Georgiabelle your post made my afternoon much better. Thank you.
So I survived the first day of school for my girls. D11, who is at a new school (older ones didn't go there either so unfamiliar for me also ) had a good day. Yay. On a sad note, the car is packed with S18's stuff for college, he and H leave early tomorrow. I have an IC appointment tomorrow as we'll, so I can cry to her about S18.
H plays in a contemporary Christian band at our church which has taken a break for summer but starts back after Labor Day so he is rehearsing tonight. It's beyond me how he can stand in front of the congregation and sing about how everything he does is for God's glory. I'm expecting lightning to strike him any day. I also don't know how I'm supposed to attend that worship service and get anything out of it. But I work for this church so going somewhere else isn't really an option. I am not sure how this is all going to play out.
Oh, that will be emotional when your s goes to college. You must be so proud! The lightening strike comment made me laugh. I always say it's probably best my stbx is an atheist. He would be like a giant metal rod during a lightening storm!!!
Please excuse my crazy sentences and typos in my previous post. I type very quickly on my phone and rarely check what my posts actually say. Oops. Hope IC goes well for you:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
rppfl, when I go to church on Sunday I'll say a prayer that God finds a way to reach you in spite of the barriers your H has put in the way. We all need to be able to find center in the place that we call our spiritual home.
Best to you.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
GB, I am very proud of my S. He's such a great kid, I'm going to miss him terribly.
Maybell, thanks for the prayers. We are very, very tied in to this church, H and I met there, got married there, had all our children's baptisms and first communions there, they've all been through elementary school there, and I have worked there for 16 years. It ought to be a comforting place, but it's just hard to know that H stands there and praises God when he's been in OW's bed the day before. Again, lightning strike!
I have a staff luncheon today, I don't feel much like being cheerful in a crowd, but I'll do what I have to. And then IC later in the afternoon.
Why not go there with an open mind like a new beginner? You might be surprised to "hear" or "learn" something there.
Wonka, that's an interesting challenge. I don't know that I can see things a fresh way. I see my H front and center singing that "love will" (name of a song he wrote) overcome all obstacles. Apparently not. He says he loves me, but it isn't overcoming the obstacle of breaking his marriage vows that he made while standing on the exact same spot in the church. I sound bitter, I know. I'll have to give it some more thought as to how I might do that.
I just finished a session with IC. We talked about a variety of things, and it was nice to be open with someone, but I'm not sure what we accomplished. I don't feel like I have any more clarity on things than I did before. I think it's useful, it's nice to be totally honest with someone, but I'm just not sure where I'm supposed to be going with this. Is it wrong to want to have an agenda? Or am I supposed to just let things happen as they happen (with the IC)?
rppfl - I sometimes feel like this after I visit my IC, particularly if we haven't talked specific plans or strategies. I usually find these sessions involve a lot of validation on her part, though, or they give me an opportunity to talk out my end of things and see where I stand on some issues.
Have you talked through goals with your IC and what you'd like to be accomplishing? If not, this could be a good way to go. And if you haven't thought about what you'd like to be working on through IC, that would be good to figure out, too. Or, if you have, you could always ask how these sessions are contributing to what you're working towards.
M - 34 H - 36 Together 10 years Married 4 years BD - March, 2014
How can we get through this mess. Mine refuses to talk. I am dark and working on myself. What to do when guilt or regret or what ifs invade me during the day or gym. They hurt too much.
How long do you have to go dark before she contacts me?
How can we get through this mess. Mine refuses to talk. I am dark and working on myself. What to do when guilt or regret or what ifs invade me during the day or gym. They hurt too much.
How long do you have to go dark before she contacts me?
Jim I am not the best to ask about going dark. I still live with H, we share a bed, we vacation together, and have three kids. I don't pursue or bring up R talk but if would by no means say I have gone dark.
rppfl - I sometimes feel like this after I visit my IC, particularly if we haven't talked specific plans or strategies. I usually find these sessions involve a lot of validation on her part, though, or they give me an opportunity to talk out my end of things and see where I stand on some issues.
Have you talked through goals with your IC and what you'd like to be accomplishing? If not, this could be a good way to go. And if you haven't thought about what you'd like to be working on through IC, that would be good to figure out, too. Or, if you have, you could always ask how these sessions are contributing to what you're working towards.
Thanks Meghan. She did validate some, which was nice, I don't get anything from H at all right now and never did much anyway. She asked me some questions about things like, why haven't you told the children, where are you getting support, etc. I had clear answers to those and a reason behind my answer so that was that. I think she just wanted to know if I had thought through things and I have. She actually said I was handling things in a very healthy way, which was nice, but I also feel it's important for my kids.
Speaking of which, the more I journal the more I notice that it's all about my kids. Has anyone else picked up on that? Which makes me wonder, if we didn't have kids, would I be fighting for this man? I don't know the answer.
