Trying to stay level and continuing to detach has been helping. Can't go as dark as I'd like because of my kids, but trying to focus all conversations about kids. Last weekend was difficult with my S and D. Daughter was upset about separation and she cut a big chunk of her hair out. It's tough seeing them struggle to process, yet it makes me realize how strong they need me to be.
This morning (5:45am) to be exact, WAW came to drop off kids and saw me outside on the phone. She got visibly bothered, and asked who I was talking to when I hung up. She then responded with, "Do you tell everyone what is going on?" Must be an ego/guilt thing, as I was talking to a friend 2 time zones ahead that will be in CA for business next week and wants to get together.
I saw the silliness in the potential argument and just kept my PMA and gave no ammo for an argument.
Ahhh---what a fun life this is. So yesterday after the kid drop off, WAW came back over a few hours later to help daughter comb hair. She helped herself to some breakfast and it was quite surreal. Felt like we lived in the same house for that hour that she was there.
There was a conversation with the two of us that bordered on an argument. She was upset that our Daughter doesn't open up to her and only opens up to me. She asked D why, and D said that she doesn't feel comfortable opening up. Many more details about the conversation, but it's one of those situations that would take several paragraphs to read.
A few hours later a mutual friend of us both invited us via a facebook message to a marriage seminar at our church. Because the message was sent to both of us, I saw her reply and she said No, I'm done. I'm emotionally exhausted. Blamed me for her having no self esteem and low self worth and said if I had dealt with my issues for our marriage earlier, she would've been willing to make things work.
After seeing her response, I validated via text message that I was sorry that she felt that way and if she reconsidered, I would go to to the class. She called me immediately afterwards, talked for about 30 minutes, reminded me of what I did to hurt her, and although 25 minutes of the conversation went well, the last 2 or 3 did not. I made a comment that during a very rough time in her life I gave her an outpouring of love when people in her family were doing anything but. She took offense to that and hung up.
A few hours later, I had to go to an appointment at the bank because we were looking to refi our home this winter, but now foreclosure is a very possible reality. She knew of my appointment, and called me afterwards to which I didn't answer and texted her that I didn't feel like talking.
This morning she calls, makes some phony excuses about wanting to discuss school supplies, but then begins to probe me about what I did last night. I told her I went on a drive to the mountains and walked around and then she asked if she could help out by making a Costco run and getting anything that I may need???
Two hours later I get a text from her (that I didn't reply to) saying, "Hope your OK, will pray for you" What in the world is this? Guilt, playing a mind game, I have no clue??? I know that she cares about me and is beginning to see the consequences if things continue like this. I just don't get it.
