My W is doing the OP grocery shopping and using our money. Multiple times a week she is disappearing for hours at a time. Last night she woke me up at 12:30 to ask if she could go to his house to let his dogs out and was gone for 2 hours. She said that he texted her that his dogs had not been out all day and that he wouldn't be home for another 3-4 hours. When she asked me I calmly said that was fine by me and just went back to sleep.
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
I have reread the LRT section and looked at how I have been doing my 180 and I can honestly say I have not been diligent with it. I think it is wise to not confront her but to double my effort in my 180.
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
Um, if she is using shared marital funds to support an OP's lifestyle, it's time to take steps. I don't know what steps.
Do you have business funds that are separate from personal funds, or is your business unincorporated/informal? Either way, it may be time to separate some things.
Can I get a vet to weigh in? My responses, while more measured of late, tend to be a little off.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
Our business is a sub-s corp. She is the CIO and has full access to everything. When she takes draws from the company into our personal account she has been pulling cash out and uses that to purchase things for OP. She also has personal CC's that she is using that I have no access to. I do know the OP is in a terrible financial situation because my W did the budget for him and told me after all his expenses for the month he had about 150.00 left for food and entertainment. I do know that the W is helping him with food and things for his house. I have read and reread DB and I am lost on how this should be handled.
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
Consult an attorney ASAP. Simultaneously, stop worrying about it. I know that sounds crazy. Money is a game, and it's simply how we keep score.
You want to save your marriage, and you should. But you also need to protect yourself somewhat.
Don't know how much she is damaging your business, but I'm sure that's a factor. Also, the draws become income the second they hit your personal account, correct? That has tax implications that I have no knowledge of.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
Thanks. What she is doing is not hurting the company financially. I believe she is helping the OP out 4-500.00 a month. Do not know how much she has put on her CC's for him and have not tried to find out. When I was checking up on her before reading DB I discovered that she was ordering things for yard. The only way I found out that she is helping him with his groceries is left the receipt by our shredder and when I went to shred some things it was sitting right on top of the pile. Evidently she took it out to shred but forgot to.
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
It is out normal draw that we pay quartet taxes in. For 20 years she has deposited the whole amount into our joint checking and have had a full accounting of every dime spent because we use the debit card off the account. Before a few months ago she never took much cash out. Now with every bi-monthly draw she is taking about 200.00 cash.
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
20...that reduces the anxiety. If you are ok personally, and in your company, financially. But, long term, that's money for your children's education, etc.
We need a vet to weigh in. Should 20&lost shut down the joint account, separate the draw into two separate accounts, and agree with W on who pays which bills? Or should he just ignore it as "business as usual?"
Man, I'm glad I am not in business with my W right now. I know that adds a layer of complexity, 20. But the basics remain the same. DB your behind off, 180, GAL, PMA. You are here because you want to save your marriage. That starts by saving/improving/discovering your self.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
It is actually money I could be putting away for college education. Just do not know how to handle. If I confront it will appear that I was spying, which I was a few months ago. The only thing I think of doing is 180, GAL, etc for a while longer and then if nothing changes so the "after LRT" and be firm. Maybe get some legal advice sometime soon.
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
LRT question. When doing the LRT it says that one of the things you should avoid is scheduling things in the future. I have an opportunity to sign up for a dive in the Georgia Aquarium and take the kids in January but I have to do soon as there are only 4 spots left. Me my D and S are certified and I know my W wants to be. Should or how to approach the family with this opportunity? I know my kids would love it and who wouldn't love diving with whale sharks. Do not know how to approach W with this as she is still upset that I got my diving cert even tho she has had every opportunity to get hers.
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
