My W just informed me she is meeting the OM and his friends out for lunch. I said ok have fun. Just seems like the more I'm doing my 180 and backing off the more time she is spending with OM. Trying to ignore it and act like I don't care. Any other suggestions?
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
Um, that's weird that she's so open with you about seeing OM. Is she trying to get a reaction? Or trying to rub it in your face? It would be better not knowing, frankly.
My one suggestion is start doing more GAL activities and be really mysterious about them. She may be telling you what she's doing, but you don't have to reciprocate. You can leave her guessing. And then actually do something -- meet new people and have fun.
And do protect yourself financially.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
She left for lunch and still not home after over 4 hours. I have gotten one text but I didn't respond. She is trying to past the OM off to me as a just a friend but she finds a way to see him 2 to 3 times a week. When she left I told her to have fun.
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
I can't say I would have said the same thing in the same circumstances. You don't want to give it your blessing. Maybe saying nothing at all would be better.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
W came home yesterday almost 5 hours after saying she was having lunch with OM and his friends. My D was home with 20 of her friends working on school project that my W always helps with. When W came home I was outside having a great time with my D and her friends. I did not ask where she had been or make any stupid comments (which is a first for me). I have been doing my 180's for a while now. I have had a few minor positives. I am really trying to give her time and space and show that I have a life. Many of my GAL projects have been at the house since I let them go for many years. I am planning to have a few drinks with friends tonight. I keep asking God for the right direction in my 180's, my GAL's, my PMA and whether I should consult a lawyer to protect myself. I guess after a few weeks of 180 I thought I would see some more improvement and in some areas I have but then it also appears she is seeing the OM/EA (maybe PA) more and more or my mind is seeing that. I have a tenancy of letting my imagination run wild which greatly increases my anxiety.
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
I want my marriage to work but I keep getting in my own way (stumbling). I person I was when my W and I first met was fun, outgoing, firm and decisive. I have become a shell of the person I once was. I am scared to be firm because I am scared I'll run her off. Trying to do my LRT and I keep sliding backward. I'll do well one day and then she will disappear for a few hours here and there and then my mind makes up things and I react. Also, in good times we talked all the time on the phone and she rarely calls me and now almost all communication she has with me outside the house is through texting. Does anyone have a way keeping a PMA when you think everything you are doing is failing and how to be stronger in your conviction when doing the LTR.
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
Did better yesterday. Some positive from W yesterday. I know they are baby steps but it is something. 1. Asked if I needed lunch at the office 2. Had a brief conversation where she actually had a little laugh and smile 3. Had a brief conversation on new branch office 4. Said good night without it sounding strained.
Still do not know what is happening with OM and her parents are coming in this weekend to watch my D cheer. Also,when she is silent, I still find myself trying to start a conversation. I am getting better with this but I need to stop it completely and let her come to me.
I am stuck about what to do about the office. W is way behind on her work here and I do not know how to approach it. I need to have a conversation about things in the office but do know how to do it where it doesn't appear that I am trying to control her. We have 13 families that depend on our business and she is an integral part of it and I fear if she continues what she is not doing it could hurt the business financially. I would love some feed back or suggestions. It is real hard to do a 180 in all aspects when W is such a big part of the business.
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
Having hard time coming up with ways of being mysterious. A few weeks ago I met a small group of people that my W didn't know out for a drink and that seemed to stir up some anger in my W. I don't think going to bars is a good thing and I cannot think of ways of being mysterious. Any suggestions?
W-44,M-57 Married 20 D-17,S-13 W and I own our own business and work together.
