They pulled him from the respirator last night and his heart is still beating. They're weaning him off the blood pressure meds, which will eventually stop his heart altogether. My parents have contacted the funeral home and the church, and they're making plans. They are at the hospital now, with my cousin.
Ever pragmatic are my family members, and I appreciate that I inherited this from them. One of my cousins is getting married next Saturday, so they are planning the viewing and service after the weekend so that everyone can go celebrate with her (them included). They wanted everyone to have at least 8 hours to regroup before making the transition to something a whole lot more sad.
D20's volleyball team punched their ticket to the NCAA tournament yesterday. We'll find out tomorrow morning if they host, but are 95% likely to do so. So D17 and I will probably fly to NY on Thursday and then drive down to VA with her Sunday. It's perfect timing. The NCAA championship is in Newport News, VA (4 hours south of my folks) so maybe she'll meet her team if they make it that far. My dad said he and mom would drive her car back to NY. I love them for that.
So in the meantime, I'm cleaning my house, doing laundry and trying to get things done before we have to leave. The realtor is scheduling time for me to sign the closing paperwork on the estate house on Wednesday, so I'll be good to go there. I think this just might all work out after all.
Thanks again for all your prayers and well wishes. I really appreciate it.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Blessings Bets. I am really sorry. Everything seems to come all at once. Your family is the most important in all of this. Take the time you need to come to terms with this.
Hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
So sorry once again about your brother. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family. If you need anything while here in Virginia don't hesitate to ask.
I'm very sorry to come here and read about the health situation of your brother.
Travel safely and know that we all will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks so much for your kind words and support. I'm still here in Colorado. It's bitter cold and snowing. This after a beautiful weekend - Sunday was 74 and sunny. I feel tricked!
My D20's team isn't hosting so back to Hoboken they go. D17 and I are flying back to NJ on Friday to watch, and then we'll hop the train down to DC when they're finished playing. I hope that's late Sunday afternoon!
Things were all going as well as expected until yesterday. My brother is dying and nothing is going to change that. His kidneys are shutting down, and the blood going to them is at a mere trickle. He's still unconscious but resting comfortably. (My folks decided that this life ending event warranted pumping a butt load of morphine into a heroin addict's system. I'm glad they decided to do it because I don't want him in pain.)
My XSIL is now back to her old tricks. She is one of the most manipulative people I've ever met and she has an uncanny knack for taking things people say out of context and twisting them to suit her purposes. Whatever purposes those are, my sister and I believe she is mentally ill. She's back at her old tricks again. I found myself getting hot under the collar when my sister reminded me that she's acting completely in character. That stopped me dead in my tracks. So I just got off the phone with my cousin, who was her intermediary in the latest crapola. We're now good, and he's questioning things she said now. So that's drama NONE of us need right now.
Sigh.
That's my latest health update. My parents have met with the mortuary and church, and talked to the cemetery folks as well. I think they feel better having knowledge of what to expect. Their only conundrum is whether or not to go to my other cousin's wedding on Saturday. I hope they do what they need to do for them.
On a side note, work is hopping. I've got a lot of potential business in the pipeline, and almost all of it is money that must be spent this year. I'm bringing my laptop back east so I don't miss any opportunities to bring in the income. That part is a happy dance.
And then my D20 won her league Player of the Year yesterday. This one week after she was named as a finalist in the Capital One CoSIDA All Academic award. It's pretty prestigious and you have to be nominated for it. To qualify, you have to be a starter on the team and maintain a 3.3 GPA. Her major is chemical engineering with a minor in bioengineering, so this is no small feat. She's a lot smarter than I am. Despite the losses, she's had a really good year so far. Me too, but those losses are clouding my world at the moment.
And my final good news: I'm signing my part of the closing papers on the estate house tomorrow. What a relief! I'm almost done! Woo hoo!
Now, can someone add an additional 4 weeks to the calendar so I can get my Christmas shopping done???
Hugs to everyone- Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Mr. Wonderful won't be going with us. He's having a situation at work that won't allow him to leave, but he's been in contact with my folks. And he's given D20 the green light to book any travel on his credit card. He also reiterated his offer to keep D17 for the week, but I declined. I think my family needs *her* now anyway.
So we're all good.
This afternoon, he and I are meeting with our lawyer to update our wills and trusts and get started on the guardianship bandwagon that's coming into focus. We're in a good place with this and we generally agree on pretty much everything on this issue so it shouldn't be too difficult. Time consuming, maybe.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I should hear very soon, as my folks got the call in the wee hours of the morning that my brother was close to death. Thanks for your thoughts.
But I'm here to report the weirdness of life after D. Weird in the Betsey-Mr. Wonderful way of things.
As I mentioned yesterday, we met with our lawyer to discuss updating our wills (last one was done right after he moved out, when we were still married), talk about D17's pending guardianship and set up a new trust from the proceeds of the estate house sale for D17. Our lawyer walked in and we jumped right in the pool's deep end. He asked if we wanted to change our POA/Medical POA and personal representatives. I had already thought about it and knew what I was going to say, but Mr. Wonderful answered first: I want Betsey to be my first PR, POA and MPOA. I immediately said, me too. We kind of looked at each other and smiled.
So we went our separate ways and I got home with D17 after taking her to Red Robin. (Yummmm) I was texting with my aunt and sister when I got a text from Mr. Wonderful:
MW: How weird are we??? After almost 10 years of being divorced, we are still trusting each other to handle each other's estate. Who the hell does that?
Me: LOL, I know. It's totally f*d up. Thank goodness. And thank you.
MW: Thank you, my lady [wow... he hasn't said that to me in more than a decade]. We have a couple of wonderful kids, thanks in a big part to you.
Me: Awww, that's sweet. Thanks. But it was a pleasure, and I thank you for being a good dad, a great provider and in the recent past, a voice of reason. I know they appreciate it too. Especially D20. She and I are sometimes too much alike.
We just blathered on until he got a call from work. It's really weird that aside from the massive loss this year, and the sadness it has brought to me and my family on both sides of the pond, it's been a bittersweet and really successful year too. It's really poignant. D17 and I are in a really good place right now, and that's kind of an unexpected but very welcome surprise. I like good surprises.
Now off to get some work done before I have to leave the office. It's colder than a witch's tit and snowing. We are officially sucking wind in the polar vortex.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Despite the losses, she's had a really good year so far. Me too, but those losses are clouding my world at the moment.