Nice!!! Just take your time and get to know him. I think most men would look like an upgrade after your ex!!!
I snorted on my coffee when I read that.
As to the money - an account in your son's name (opened by you and him) would surely be the answer? And an agreement that he gets to spend some and save some. Why is J's name? I do not get it - either control or dishonesty I would say. or both.
Thanks Bea. J hasn't talked to me about this yet, so I am trying to stay calm. Maybe S is telling me this out of context? Idk. Do I want to be on any account with J? Doesn't that keep us tied together? I guess if it's to protect S? We are supposed to go over financials tonight so maybe it will come up? I guess I will just wait and see.
And yes, KML, anyone is an upgrade after J. It took me a long time to recognize that. I think I needed to see what it was like to go out with someone who treats a lady like a lady. It just solidifies what everyone else on these boards says. These MLC people are broken and we can't fix them. We can't even come close to fixing them. I don't want to fix J. I want as little to do with him as possible. After going out with the new guy three times J's crazy wafts off him like a stench.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
So I met with J yesterday to go over financials. A complete waste of my time. We were supposed to meet at 6:00 and he wasn't there. I called him and he was at the store. Can you come back in a half hour? Seriously. So he called when he was home. I came over, and waited 20 minutes with D while J flittered back and forth, upstairs, downstairs, basement, etc. trying to get the printer to work. After 20 minutes I asked if we should do this some other time? He said no, he wanted to get this done. So after 10 minutes he finally showed me the excel spreadsheet he came up with and asked me for my paystub, which I didn't bring because I didn't know I needed it. J then started complaining about the printer again and how frustrated he was because he didn't know why it wasn't working. He then started talking about work and how he was supposed to meet a client at 1:00 and the client didn't show up until 3:00 and then J had to leave to pick up the kids and his boss was ticked. I just said hmmmmm.
He then asked me if we could do this on Sunday? I told him I would have to see. Ugh. I am starting to think he had me come over so I could watch D while he just ran around the house looking like a madman. I went ahead and took the dog and the dog bolted out of that house into my car. He couldn't get out of there fast enough. And before I left J gave me a copy of the dentist bill and asked me if I could handle it. Yeesh.
I talked to new guy last night and gave him a brief overview of my evening with the crazy J. NG asked me if this kind of stuff goes on all the time with J and I said yes. NG suggested that J wasn't quite all there and that I didn't need to deal with all that crap and take it on. I don't want to expose NG to J's insanity. Not that he can't handle it but I wouldn't wish that insanity exposure on anyone.
Speaking of NG, I have been doing some behind the scenes research and he just seems to be an honest to goodness good guy. Everything checks out. BUT I am still treading cautiously. And enjoying the company and conversation with a normal man. It's makes a world of difference.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
BTW no mention of credit card issues or demands about S's money. Maybe J knows I will not allow him to take S's money. AND he still won't admit to me he is marrying OW. What a coward.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
WH, J had too much on his mind last night. He'll get back to the credit issue, as well as S's money. He hasn't forgotten.
Enjoy your weekend!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Had a great weekend with the kids. Wasn't head hassled by J all weekend yay! Well, I take that back. He did call me on Friday and ask to talk to the kids. In the midst of him talking to the kids I caught him in another lie. He had told me earlier he couldn't make D's game because he had to help OW's dad movie some stuff. Truth is J and OW were throwing her a 40th birthday party at the house and he could not leave. I found out because D asked if she could go to the party on Saturday. I explained that she had soccer games and we would have our own fun. I saw evidence of the party on FB because my former BIL and SIL were tagged in a photo with J and OW in the back of what was my house. Okay if he wants to have a party fine. If he wants to miss our kids' soccer games to entertain his friends fine. But lie about it? Seriously. He has avoided me like the plague since. He is busted and he knows it. But I don't know why he would avoid me. We are divorced. I don't care and it's none of my business. I don't want to talk to him anyway. He still continues to lie about things he does not need to lie about. What is the purpose of these lies? The truth always comes out anyway.
In better news I am still getting along great with my new man. He is more than I could ever imagine I could want. The more we talk, the more it seems the better fit we are. I can't help but say I am still waiting for the huge bag of crazy to reveal itself. It hasn't and I have seen no red flags. I just adore seeing a man who appreciates me for me and never asks anything of me. Just wants me to be me. It's nice. I always felt like I could never quite be myself when I was with J. Now I feel confidence with who I am. I want to be the best me possible. And I am happier too.
I was shocked and sickened at first to see a pic of J and OW invade my FB feed. But it passed quickly and I hid it from my feed. It's time to let the crazy be crazy far away from me. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Been quite a while since I posted. Life is good. Better than good. I didn't think it could ever been good again. But once I was lost and now I am finding myself again.
I am still dating the guy I met on match.com and it is really something after what I have been through to hang out with someone who seems to like me for me...and encourages me to be the real me. I haven't felt this much like myself (the REAL me) in years. And it feels good. And you know, before I dated him I felt myself slowly coming back to myself, but he has encouraged me. And it's nice. I am taking things one day at a time and focusing on what makes my life better. And focusing on making myself the mother that my kids deserve.
As for J, he continues to spin. He calls me even more than ever and demands even more than ever. I don't budge. He has started making demands on S to do things because he knows I won't. For example, J and OW have a "family calendar" out on their gmail account. They have asked S to enter in activities so they can be aware of what is going on. So S does. Now they are asking S to enter into this calendar stuff that is going on during my time. I told S not to do it and if his dad wants to know why to direct him to me. X does not need to know what is going on my weekends. If there is a game or a practice, X gets the email and can enter that in. He is trying to weasel in to know what is going on in my life. It's none of his business. He needs to go with OW and plan his wedding.
The other day D was talking about the wedding and I told her I didn't want to talk about the wedding and let's talk about something else. She asked me if the wedding made me sad and I said, no, not sad honey. She asked if it made me mad and I said no. And it made me think that I really don't feel anything. I'm not really sad or mad about it. I just don't want to talk about it. It isn't about me and it's not my concern. That said a lot to me right there.
I hope everyone on these boards are doing well. I do check in from time to time. It just seems that X will never change. He is still on the hamster wheel and I've grown tired of the same old same old. I hope he has found the happiness he was so desperately seeking, but I doubt he really ever will.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I am so glad you came back to visit and post your update. You sound great and it does take some time to rediscover the person you once were. I'm happy to read that things are going well w/you and the man you are dating.
You are getting stronger each and every day and I'm glad you advised your son not to post his updates about what he's doing when he's w/you. It is none of their business what goes on in your household. As for J, time for him to grow up and stop acting like a bully.
Life has a funny way of making us stop and smell the roses. Keep up the good work.
Happy Halloween!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
