SITCH: BF (no kids) of 10 years came home one day, said he wanted out of our R, admitted to a PA in the past. Was very adamant that he didn't want to work on us, and was tired and burnt. I moved out (couldn't afford the apartment alone). BF is currently sleeping with a friend (in the middle of a divorce) that he claims he's "not in a relationship" with, but I suspect there's more to it.
Thanks for the support, guys.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
BF wants to drop another box off at my house after work. The last time he wanted to drop a box off I told him I wouldn't be home and to leave it on the back porch, because seeing him rips the scab off. Plus, it's a good 180 because previously I was a huge home-body that never left the house much.
At first I told him I wasn't going to be home again, but then I realized I can't just hang out some place until I'm sure he's gone; I had plans to be home this evening because I've been legitimately out so much that I've got projects to take care of. I changed my mind and told him I had to go home to change clothes first, anyway and I should be there when he stops by.
I've got 7 hours to gird my loins and psych myself up so that when he leaves, I'm not affected. I got this.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Little, you can do this. It's just a box drop off! You'll manage. Too bad you have to be there when he drops by. I think total NC is more effective sometimes.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
I don't have to be there. I mean, there's no logistical reason, except that I have some chores (laundry, blah) to do around the house. But I suppose I can put them off for a little bit and just get it done this evening.
The whole reason I've been avoiding him is because it just hurts. He's making a choice and showing no regret. I seem to be able to maintain a more even keel emotionally when we maintain our space physically.
I think I may just tell him I misjudged the time and don't have time to go home before I rush out again; he can drop the box on the back porch. Let him stew a bit.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Try imagining what you would do if he wasnt in the picture at all. Would you be at home or out? Do that. if youre home when he stops by, do you even have to see him? it might send more of a message if you barely acknowledge he's there.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
