I feel so sorry for all you ladies with the d-bag men that just cant seem to make up their freaking minds. I just don't understand it. I'm pretty clear on it. We got married, I love my wife. I didn't expect to ever be divorced.
I can't be "friends" either. Just can't do it. Friendly? Yes. Your go-to friend while your fuc*ing another man? Nope, sorry.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Still here. Swimming, trying to keep my head above water.
No changes in my sitch, but he's still in the new relationship stages with OW, so....
Ho hum.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
If it can help, I'll copy here what Wonka just wrote me:
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Step away....BACK OFF...and allow the OM to shoot his foot (or his head for that matter). It'll all come down spectacularly. Don't lift a dang finger here. It's your W's problem and the OM's. Not your sandbox.
I know you're not in his sandbox, but I like to hear that "it'll all come down spectacularly".
I follow your sitch and I have hope for you.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
Hit a wall with IC. At least, the provider I'd been seeing. They keep telling me I'm too intelligent for IC to be a benefit to me and my problem is that I just need to "feel my emotions in order to get past them".
I'm not trying to avoid my emotions, and I promise I am feeling them, but at the same time it helps to have someone to talk to and work on my personal issues with.
I'm going to have to find a NEW person to see for IC.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
After a couple day silence, BF texted me to remind me not to forget the half of the electric bill I'd still left to pay. I took care of it and texted him back that I'd done so.
He asked me if I had any trouble driving to work today (it snowed a little over night) and told me he was drifting on black ice so bad he had thought he'd gotten a flat.
I told him that I had no trouble, myself, but, "I'm very glad you made it safe; not that there was any doubt. Your driving skills have always been super impressive, to me."
Build him up, I guess. Positive positives.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
I don't know what to say when the situation doesn't change much from day to day, but I feel like I need to keep posting here.
I'm trying really hard to detach, but some days I just get caught up in the emotions of missing BF and start to cry - like last night. I try my best to avoid thinking about it, but occasionally the thoughts of BF and OW surface and I end up upset again and the waterworks start.
On one hand, mind reading or not, it appears that BF doesn't miss me at all, and has happily gone on with his life; like he's just replaced me with OW. I feel like a divine miracle will be necessary for him to ever find his way back to me again.
On the other hand, I try to remind myself that I can't predict the future and I can't possibly know what's going on inside BF's head. Plus, OW is just at the start of her divorce with a husband that doesn't want to be done, and has a teenager and a young kid (5 or 6?) too. Things can't possibly be as idyllic as they seem. BF was pretty adamant when we were together that he was past the "kid thing" (was okay with me) so we'll see how that weighs on him.
Plus, this is a marathon, not a sprint. So long as I'm moving in the right direction, I won't get too hard on myself.
I'm still GALing - movies, dinners, outings with friends. We did a "cocktails and canvas" night last night, where you bring your own booze and they guide you through painting a simple, whimsical painting; it was lots of fun. We're also looking into tickets for a concert next month. Also trying to pepper in plenty of "me time", in between.
I texted BF this morning because Grumpy Cat seems to be a future host of WWE's Monday Night Raw, which has long been a joke between us. I used to tease BF about his enjoyment of the show, and he used to shoot back that they were "man soap-operas" and we'd laugh. He was enthusiastic about responding and told me, "Oh my god I have to see that!".
I try to ultimately let him contact me first, but it was funny and he received it okay, so...no harm done, I think.
Still swimming, still swimming, still swimming.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
I can tell you this much. OM and BF are doomed. Neither of them are even close to being ready, emotionally or otherwise, for any kind of intimate relationship. This is a self-will fueled endeavor on both their parts. When the new car smell wears off they're both going to realize they just bought a used Skylark with 2 liens on the title.
Hang in there, Little.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
It's what BF does - become unhappy, cheats, move on immediately with no time in between Rs. At least, what he's done twice now.
We started dating immediately after he'd cheated on and left his last GF (of 8 years), and he was with me for 10 years before he did that to me. It's easy for me to imagine this will be more of the same (IE: long relationship with her), even though I KNOW I need to stop with that thinking.
Granted I wasn't dealing with any of the issues OW has going on in her life when he and I first started; I don't have kids, either. She's a small business owner, as well, so...plenty of stress involved there.
We'll see what pans out.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
