I’m pretty sure that she just grabbed xh’s phone without his permission to sent you the text. She is truly a piece of work. Oh my, I can see the whole drama is just starting... I’m curios if xh is thinking to sell the house or leave it to her.
Mighty, don’t let yourself to be ticked off like that. There are a lot of things that are going to happen. She might show up at your house. He might still do things for her (like Christmas shopping), because he is going to feel guilty, you know. Plus, don’t forget about the baby.
I’m actually surprised that he moved out so fast after mentioning it. It was probably brewing for some time thought. She will start spinning and do all kinds of stuff. You, Mighty, will need to stay calm, the direct opposite to her. Smiling and holding your head up high. And, yes, you are definitely in her head, LOL.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Ummmm.. Yeah, AJ. Like, c'mon. Are you kidding me?! I just can't.... Even..... Blah.....
Bright! I guess I hadn't thought of it like that. Her taking his phone. She is the most clueless, self-absorbed, unaccountable person around.
Thanks for the advice. I need to heed that, for sure. Maintain composure. Regroup and keep it together.
I was thinking how these changes are slightly disrupting my focus. I need to stay out of their mess. It's theirs. I need to stay in my lane and keep focus on the kids.
Both kids have asked me this week if I'd get back w xh. Seperatly they've inquired. Just a few min ago, d13 asked if we could have thanksgiving together. Ugh. (The 4 of us had a nice one on thanksgiving every year since we celebrate on there wkend w my fam).
I said that I didn't plan on cooking it this year bc of my surgery. (I was just going to do something simple for the 3 of us & make it special).
She said I know, but we can do it Sunday or something. Oh boy.
It's so sad. We were so tight. This is hard.
Even xh told s17 yesterday that he looks at pics everyday at all our happy memories. He said that we used to do so much together and have fun together all the time. There is no denying it if even he is admitting it. This stinks & I don't want to look like the bad guy. Grrrrrr
Like I mentioned - be careful as things go wobbly.
Ah the holidays...
Seriously, your kids are telling you what they wanted all along. What kid wouldn't?
Keep your balance and have no expectations.
And as for the hww? The sooner you do NOT engage, the faster she will go away. I mean that. It's not that he doesn't have a few things to deal with on that front, but she can and will go away faster if you do not engage.
It'll all work out, Mighty. Take it one day at a time and be at ease.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Mighty, Its fantastic that things are going great.
Its early days so don't be pressured in to doing anything you don't want to do. Stay focused, its easy to get caught up in the rush of whats happening right now. Take a step back and breath.
Don't rush in to decisions you may later regret - do what feels right for you, not the kids and not h .... you
Good Luck - Stay strong - You are doing amazingly well, I would be a complete wreck by now ....oh wait, I am
Ok ... Mighty ... man your sitch is such a fast pace Thrilla-From-Manilla ... one has to keep up or they will be completely lost. What a rapid change in such a short time frame.
Nice to see the fog is lifting a bit, but yeah seems like hww is still gonna try to hold on. I would not have thought of the paternity test .. Great idea.
Hang in there Mighty ... no rules are good rules and sounds like your instincts seem to be working very well
You are Wonder Woman, I'm convinced.m your composure and level-headed ness is admirable.
I agree with others, the less you engage hww the more of your own power you keep (and bonus, it'll drive her insane). You're definitely in her head. Be the very picture of grace and rationality and it'll foil her behavior making her look even kookier. Sometimes there's more power in inaction.
The kids and YOU are your only responsibility. Take one day at a time and don't allow the llama drama to get into your head.
You got this!
P.s. I know someone who'd be interested in the rights to your movie.
You guys are so right on. Your words are exactly what I need. I am out of practice from this because I was pretty dim for a long period of time. And, being the passionate, outspoken person I am... well... that's just another way of saying I need a muzzle.
OK, really I can't believe I am here. I can't believe what is happening... that's why I need to stay focused. Plus, I don't even know what I want. But I don't want to be a crazy person who will make him say, "Oh yeah, who could blame me?!"
Oh, AJ, the Jerry Springer line was great! Loved it.
As far as the paternity test, I talked to xh tonight about it. He said when they told her parents she was pregnant, HER mom said, well you are going to get a test, right?
Say what?
Wonka, high-pitched sirens. Yes, I will have to remember that. It cant be easy since they work together. Ugh.
He looked exhausted.
Lou- right, right, right! I need to stay the course and not get wrapped up into anything. Yup, she is definitely trying to tighten her grip.
I still have a lot of "me" time in store. Thrilla-from-Manilla- that's about right!
When I first started coming here, I thought, eh, my sitch isn't that bad. I just need to do a softie db. Oh snap! Was I wrong?!
And Lou, you aren't a wreck! It's just part of the... hmm... fun?!
He came over tonight to bring a mug he took when he left last year. He said it was in a box. Well since he just moved all his stuff in next door today, into a small house with 3 kids, 2 adults, 3 dogs and an in-home daycare, I can't imagine he got right to unpacking. But, ok.
So he talked a little bit to me. I asked about her text. Right on, Bright, she took his phone right from him. I guess it was quite eventful. She is delusional. Seriously. I can't waste my thoughts though.
He wants to say something, but isn't ready. He didn't say that. I can just tell. I don't know what he is thinking.
But, as he was leaving, I said something, he was like, what? I said oh never mind, see you later. I closed the door and went into the living room. He came back through the garage and into the house and was like, what? Normally he would have just left. He was never one to really care what I had to say.
And, he said, "You know the relief s17 had when I told him about moving out? That's the same relief I have."
He looked like he had been through it, but he did look like a weight had been lifted. He says he has to find out about the baby.
I can't imagine what it is going to be like at work. Especially with the consultants there combing through everything... taking out people, big time. What a sticky situation.
But, I am going to stay out of it. Anyone who has been through the break-up of ow, please feel free to chime in. It is bringing up some emotions for me. To think he is emotional about that and feels bad when he walked out on me after 20 years. Not a good feeling.
This brings up a lot of things I have moved past.
OK, stay focused. Keep it about the kids. That's what matters now.
XH told me that he has my back. We will see.
I did tell him that regardless of everything, I am here for him. He said thank you and that he appreciates it.
I have got to pick up my gal game! Geesh... next door?! Seriously?!
You might want to check out Train's threads over in Infidelity. There's a lot of parallels between the two of you except Train's H didn't impregnate the XOW.
I think you could rip out a page or two from Train's playbook.
