I go to sleep for a few hours and my thread takes an odd turn.
Isn't that just normal day to day underwear?
GGrass, yes been following your thread but I'm definitely out of my comfort zone when it comes to commenting on RHC.
I will get a plan for Christmas eve just haven't figured it out yet. More urgently I need a plan for tomorrow night as its looking like my first evening since BD where I have neither the kids nor a plan.
W seems to be in a more positive place since her visit to OM2. She was in love with him when he broke up with her 7 years ago and I know from the time she thought he was the most amazing man ever (W and I were really good friends for at least a year before we got together so I knew all about how perfect she thought he was). Its why she looked him up and she must have kept her eye on him to know he was divorced (again) and to be able to get in touch so easily. He has said in his recent messages that the reason he broke up with her is because he didn't think she was ready to settle down. This doesn't feel great for me.
I know I need to get my mind off that but its not like this will just fizzle, he ditched her and yet years later she is straight back to him.
She has taken the day off work to start packing for the move. And then is taking the kids to her mums so they can do the traditional visit to Santa's house tomorrow (first time I'll miss it).
They are back Saturday afternoon for D3s Christmas play and then we are putting the decorations up on Sunday. It will be nice for the kids but I'm torn between making it the most positive time I can as it will be the first and last time the 4 of us do this or taking the stance that says 'you are leaving so you don't get to do this'
Right back to work
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
I thought some of those undies were really snort, cough, snicker just what you need to wear to the office! You could really kick it up a gear with any one of those google has a lot to answer for at times.
Just give us a thread jim and will run off with it, in the most unusual way. So don't go to sleep lol!
Sprays the thread with glen 20 in case we give it some germs.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
thought I'd pop by and see how its going, looks like I picked an, ahem, interesting time to drop by!
I'd agree with (well at least some ) of the above that you need to make sure you have things to do when there's no one else about. Over the past few months (with the exception of a gazillion things to do for the house) I've
* driven somewhere new just to get out in the car * swum around half the way to the USA * taken up baking (badly - but watch the waistline or swim more!) * Gone to see my dad - which is also a drive - but has ended up in us having a better relationship (although I have to watch talking too much about M) * Gone to resteraunts and taken my Kindle * Gone to go to the movies (mostly failed and ended up in said resteraunts) * Gone to local bars (try to avoid drinking too much though can end in bad decisions with email/text/call) * Walked around the local gardens * Gone out and window shopped (for stuff not women - know you lot on here are naughty now!)
Definitely goes double for "trouble" days, if W insists on having S christmas eve and day I'll be going to my dads and kipping on the couch / spending christmas morning there and then driving back after lunch - means I cant drink but its better than drinking too much I imagine
I think you'll find some things are a lot better when you get the place to yourself although I wont tell you it wont be bad sometimes too especially if you're by yourself. Maybe you can redecorate or at least rejig the space to make it Jims now and reduce any ghosts before they gang up on you?
Those times either get out and about - or ideally plan to do so in advance - have someone over and chat/play video games/play scrabble! or otherwise fill the time.
I thought about the whole ignore the day thing for Christmas, personally I'm not sure its doable given the saturation and that I'm guessing, like me, you'll decorate for the kids. I feel as Christmassy as, well, a very unChristmassy thing but I'll still get a tree, wrap his presents etc I dont doubt i'll also have a man-cry at some point but that's all part of it. Hopefully you can start building new traditions with the kids beforehand same as me. I look upon those as things that are for S and I and if W comes back at some point, we'll merge them in with the other ones.
As to the ASP, I've been told I have aspects of that behaviour but as was said above I've written other behaviour into my "muscle memory" I still need the down-time (although I've had enough time alone to last me a good few years recently) but you can get it right. As Vanilla said to me in my post its a case of getting yourself in the right environment hence I'm off to a christmas doo on the 18th - normally I'd rail against it but this year I'll do it for my sanity and I'll set out to enjoy it not survive it.
Cheers all
Edz
Last edited by edz; 12/04/1401:50 PM.
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
Need some advice because frankly this has just confused me
first the background
So on monday W asked me to send her the seperation agreement i drafted. which i did and this was the email exchange.
M: Attached is the most up to date draft of the seperation agreement for you to look through, let me know if you have any comments or amendments you would like to make. W: Thanks. My solicitors haven't had a response from yours. Can you chase them please? M: Which ones are they trying to get hold of? I'm using different solicitors for the divorce and the move. I assume house move. W: Yes, the move. I think you've only given me one set of details. Can you confirm both please? M: for the house move I'm using XXXXXXXXX, for the divorce i'm using XXXXXX. Can I have the details for your solicitors please Thanks
On monday evening we had the conversation where she seemed concerned i'd filed for divorce and that drifted into a R conversation which i posted about on tuesday. (still havent got her solicitors details)
anyway today i get this email
W: When you say divorce what do you mean exactly?
I'm just a bit flumoxed by this. i thought divorce was pretty self explanitory and shes been pretty unequivocal that she doesnt want anything to do with me apart from co-parenting (and thats only because she has to).
My best guess is that she is worried i've filed because if i have i will have to have cited either her unreasonable behaviour or her adultery. I know from previous intel that she has an unreasonable behaviour claim completed and ready to go the day after she moves out and so if i file first that will really disrupt and upset her plans. In the UK there is no point contesting so whoever files first wins in terms of the legal record.
This ^^^^^ is mind reading at its finest.
Anyway i'm trying to figure out how best to respond to this without sounding patronising or doing too much to make her feel better.
The best I've got is
'I've instructed a solicitor to protect my interests and rights towards the kids through the divorce proceedings as and when they take place'
suggestions welcome. Thanks
Last edited by jim0987; 12/04/1403:52 PM.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
) of the above that you need to make sure you have things to do when there's no one else about. Over the past few months (with the exception of a gazillion things to do for the house) I've