I still have hope, should I??!

[Trulybl]

My H and I have been married 1 1/2 years. We separated September after he got "tired of my disrespect." I did say ugly things out of anger. I've threatened D a number of times. I would get upset at his lies about finances and him being irresponsible. I took advantage of his kindness in the beginning and he gradually quit spending time with me and quit speaking with me. The harder I tried to fix us the further he withdrew. My H was gone for 1 month in Sept. He came back in October and moved into the guest bedroom. He got annoyed with my "nagging" him ab wearing his ring and asking him to spend time with me. He left in November bc he didn't trust me and thought I was cheating on him, with a woman, a friend of mine! I've moved in with a gay male about two week ago. My H changed his number and I found out that he sent a woman flowers. I've paid his cell phone for 2 months bc he "didn't have the money." I checked the phone bill and he's been calling and having convos for hours with this woman. I turned his phone off and he dropped me from the auto insurance. I had to go into the apt to get the last of my things and he left me VMs telling me not to come there anymore. We haven't spoken in 2 weeks. I've been really down. I STILL WANT HIM BACK! Am I a fool??
W-27
H-32
No children
M-5/13

[okjpc]

Trulybl,

I'm new here myself, so I don't have much to offer except sympathy and compassion. Like you, I have only been married a short time (2 years this month). I said some things to my W out of anger and frustration and lost my temper a few times. I asked her to spend some time at her parents' house, which she did. She came back for a few days then came with a moving van and took all her stuff. Haven't seen her in two months and haven't heard anything from her in one month.

Being the LBS is very hard, but it's even harder with the regrets of knowing you didn't act the best you could/should have.

I just joined a few days ago, but am already getting some relief and help from this forum. Also, reading the DB book was helpful and I've had a couple of DB coaching sessions. There seem to be lots of people on this forum who are very generous with their honesty, experience and time. Take advantage.

[Trulybl]

Thank you for your response okjpc! I'm planning on reading the book, and I've been relying on my faith. I just think I'm psychologically setting myself up for failure. The guilt of knowing what I "should've done" is overwhelming. Being the LBS surely is tough. I was so glad to have found this site bc I'm over the "pity party" stage and ready to move forward, but I'm afraid that thinking that is a sign of my doubting God and his ability to resurrect my M.

I can go on for days, but I really just want to listen and receive good, unbiased, honest guidance.

Thanks!

[Marylov]

Hi there! I am also new, and have just started to read the book. I am like you, only married 3 years, and I know how devastated you must be, because I know I am! My husband has not moved out but is working on it. I too am relying on my faith.

[staytog]

And I am new also. Read the book(s), post, ask questions. I am learning it is never too late. The wise ones will chime in here and get you headed in the right direction. Bottom line is you need to make YOU the best YOU you can be. Get to work!

[Closer2]

I'm a LBS. My wife still lives at home and I'm finding that detaching and GAL difficult. I can imagine it is painful and difficult for you, but if your H was at home the situation would still be the same. At least now you can GAL and have some space between the two of you to avoid back sliding.

I have made so many mistakes since my wife first put D on the table. Now that she has filed I'm not sure I can make up for them. I'm still not going to give up. I hope you don't either. GAL will only make a person better person and that's not giving up by a long shot.

[helpjim]

So sorry. I'm staying married Separated no talking since May. I let her keep all stolen items today. I thought over her but I saw her and fell in love again. I must be pathetic