Walk away Wife having affair

[Hurt06]

Married 13 years with three kids 6,8, and 12yo girl. Wife had asked for a separation. I had to attend training and agreed to stay away to let her think about what she wanted. While gone I discovered that she was having an affair. I suspected this all long but she was masterful in lying and deception and it had been going on for months before this. Mostly they have been communicating through Viber and Skype as these can be erased and hidden more easily. After confronting her she denied but I had already complied the evidence and she eventually admitted what was going on insisting that it had not gotten to sex yet. To top it off the man she is seeing is a divorce attorney! She continues to lie, manipulate, and hide many things and I honestly don't know when she's telling the truth about anything. I have asked her to break off her relationship to see if we can salvage our marriage but she says she has stopped talking to him for the moment but still wants me to move out and leave the house. I think she has only hidden her communications deeper. I have found love words to the other man. Any advice or insight in how to stop and fix this would be appreciated. I can forgive her and want to save our marriage and will make any changes necessary and have already changed my life radically.

PLEASE HELP!

[Cadet]

Welcome to the board

Get out and GAL.

DETACH.

Believe none of what she says and half of what she does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

You are on moderation right now on the forum.
SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.

Your W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.

USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon

[Hurt06]

Thanks you. She is asking me to leave the house and I am not the one wanting the seperation.

[Hurt06]

I have been advised to file a complaint against the OM with the BAR association in the state he is practicing Family LAW/ Divorce services under unethical behavior.

Does anyone think this is a good idea?

[Cadet]

Thanks you. She is asking me to leave the house and I am not the one wanting the seperation.

DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE or the MBR.

Yes she should move out if she does not want to be in the marriage.

Moving out is the single biggest mistake made by LBS's

[Hurt06]

Just found out that affair has been going on for 6 months...the lies just never end...she only admits the truth when there is hard evidence.

What is MBR? I checked the abreviations...if it's Master Bed Room.....she has asked that I not stay on there anymore.

[Cadet]

Just found out that affair has been going on for 6 months...the lies just never end...she only admits the truth when there is hard evidence.

What is MBR? I checked the abreviations...if it's Master Bed Room.....she has asked that I not stay on there anymore.

Yes
I understand that is part of the script.
I will stick with my advice that I gave you one of the biggest mistakes you can make is to move out of the house and the master bedroom once you do that you may never get back you're also enabling her affair.

don't let her control you like that
stick up for yourself

[Vanilla]

I wholly agree with Cadet. Do not leave your home, she is the one wanting out so she can leave. Stay in the MBR if needs she sleeps on the couch. In my sitch I was the one who wanted to leave so I left the MBR.

We need more details about you, can you complete your tag or outline this a little more.

And please do not report to the Bar, this will make you seem very vindictive in W eyes. Hold that card to your chest very tightly. Plus if this is an EA he may put this on your W.

DB is for you can you confirm you have DR and are reading it?

Concerned
Vanilla

[Hurt06]

Yes I have DR and applying a lot of the steps. I am trying but do slip occassioally.

Found secret love emails and pictures by accident and its very clearly a teenage type relationship....very childish sending her constant divorce referrals, love emails etc.

OM's wife is divorcing him and keeps me posted on her end. He is couching my wife to talk to attorney and file as soon as she can. She is prevented from filing for another few months due to a legal technicality so she can't and he has coached her on this. Obviously I have asked her if she is talking to an attorney and she says no but everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie anyway so I have to assume she is. He is also setting up his home and sending my wife demographics about how great is is to raise kids in his city. All very heartbreaking.

Basically The affair has been going on for more than six months and she is refusing to stop. My job requires me to be gone 3-5 nights a week so she gets free reign while I am gone with the only restriction is our three kids. The man has come to my house while the kids are in school and I'm outa town and I'm unsure how to stop this. I guess the only way it gets any worse is if she gets pregnant. I'm really at a loss about what to do and she is acting completely like a late 30's out of control teenager.

What all details do I need to lay out so that I can get some guidance?

Thanks for the help.

[Hurt06]

Me 44
Her 37
THREE KIDS one teenager, 2 small under 8
Married 13yrs
Bomb Dropped SEPT 30th wanted separation
claimed to be WAW
Affair exposed NOV 13th says she won't stop.
Counseling NOV 20th says stopping.
Affair continues and gets deeper and darker.
Deep love affair uncovered goes back minimum 6 months and continues currently.
She is stay at home mom and I feel like I am empowering her by providing all means to continue affair.
Says she has stopped but continue to find she has not even when not actively looking.