Just my thoughts on your points here. I think what he is willing to tell others is meaningless. My STBX said a lot of things to others over the first several months that I heard about but now tells me nothing but respectful things and swears that she has only ever told people about what a great guy I am. Your H may be willing to say things to others in a moment or around certain crowds for all kinds of reasons.
If you are thinking of approaching the PIL's I would only caution that it not get into a debate or a he said / she said sitch. H is their S and he may have told them something untrue or one sided but it won't do you any favors to point him out as a liar. If anything it may be best to stick with H first on what he has told them. I personally think its fair to say you are not going to keep his secrets and tell them so long as he knows that so its not a personal attack or looks like an attempt to control.
As for the money I would say you have to get to the lawyer. Only they can give you fair definition on your rights. But keep in mind L's will usually push you to take things further than it need go. Just defend what is fairly yours without unnecessary fighting. It sounds like H is going to be selfish over money and may not react well to even division but you are just going to need to stand your ground.
I hope that helps. Sorry you are having a tough time and are sick. Feel better!!
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
Thanks for the advice Bunches. H responded to my money query, with a pleasant "of course Toots" - so I feel a bit better now.
He told a friend of ours that when he and I D, we will sell our marital home and I will walk away with 50% of that (which I put in anyway) and that's it. Our friend (who has just D) said "really?" with an incredulous look. She told me - I don't think he realises that a settlement is likely to favour you much more than that.
He regards all other assets as 'his.' I think he will be shocked to find out that they are 'ours.' It will be an inconvenient truth. Weird - he has divorced before....he knows the ropes! I feel something approaching an even split of all assets would be fair. There is his S to consider, and this may mean less than 50% for me. He had no money when we met, so all assets have been built up during our R (with my loving support of course :-)
Hope you're having a good day...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
