Maybell XXIV

[labug]

I think dropping the rope is right where you need to be.

You've been emotionally bound to him for far too long.

Let go.

[Maybell]

Yes.

My circumstances aren't like other people's, where they are already set up to be independent without having to take legal steps.

I'm going to have to take legal steps to be able to drop the rope. Not emotionally, but so that I don't have to take him into account when I do the things that dropping the rope makes possible.

I'm not going anywhere, but thank you all so much for the ways you've made it possible for me to get to this place.

This hurts but it also feels right. Like disinfecting a wound to prevent infection.

I'm not OK right this minute, but I will be.

[labug]

Take a break, I'm not sure I follow any of of your sitch is different but that's not important, as long as you do.

Give yourself some time away from here. Enjoy the holidays with your kids.

[SunnyB]

My circumstances aren't like other people's, where they are already set up to be independent without having to take legal steps.

I'm going to have to take legal steps to be able to drop the rope.

Maybell, I'm right there with you financially. H makes about 5 times what I do, and there is no way I could ever just walk without something legal in place. You and I have to tread carefully here. But we can.

[labug]

OK, now that makes sense.

Wasn't true in my situation so I didn't relate.

[Maybell]

Labug, the sitch hasn't changed. I have. I woke up from that dream feeling very different.

Kids are with H, I'm taking a break to do nothing without guilt for a little bit, then off to do shopping & laundry and otherwise prepare for my week. And some time to work on purging my house.

It's been a rough morning and I'm very tired already. I will step away, give myself a break, and remember that I'm worth leisure.

[claire7]

Maybell,

I've been taking a bit of a break from posting...combo of lots of thinking and a very busy couple of weeks.

But I wanted to say I am thinking of you... and I can relate b/c I feel like I'm in a similar place. It's hard to truly let go while still having hope that things will work out. Maybe someday I can feel both. But right now I have let my H go in my mind. Doesn't mean I'm not sad, but I'm not trying to re attract HIM. I'm trying to be the best me I can be...for ME.

I think it takes a tremendous amount of courage to be where you are. I agree with labug... this time of year is highly charged and emotional under normal circumstances. Don't make any grand decisions.... just be for a while.

It will all be well. But you already know that.
(((Maybell)))

[KGirl]

It's funny how dreams can affect your "real life" thinking. I've had dreams where H and I got back together and felt really hopeful about it after waking up... and then had dreams where I had met someone new and was really excited about that (and no interest in my H). If after a few days you still feel the same it may not be that dream influence anymore.

[Maybell]

Gah!! D11 just told me H is buying my perfume as his gift to me for Christmas. What am I supposed to do with that????

[KGirl]

Hmm... nothing?

What are you worried about? That he got you something and you didn't? Or what it "means"?