The vets want this to be permanent and 'stick'. This means taking their advice and being slightly more circumspect so you are more aware.
You have read some sitches in the piecing forum haven't you? From what I understand you are going to have keep on with Sandi rules as well as the piecing stuff.
Please listen to the vets Rzr. Vanilla
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I'm going to read in that forum and I have another coaching session with Chuck tomorrow. Things look very good, but I want to make sure I don't lose my head. I'm aware there's still a ways to go.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Be prepared for a big pull-back and/or spew from her, as early as early this week. IT IS NORMAL. It will be a great chance to show that you won't overreact.
Be prepared for a big pull-back and/or spew from her, as early as early this week. IT IS NORMAL. It will be a great chance to show that you won't overreact.
You're doing GREAT.
Starsky
That's why they call it piecing, and not "mission accomplished". I haven't breathed a sigh of relief yet because I'm still waiting for that other shoe to drop.
I'm strong and I'm ready. Thanks for the vote of confidence. That means a lot!
Last edited by Rzrback; 12/15/1403:00 AM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Had a good session with Chuck today; He seems to think I'm on the right track. I needed that lift today! Things are still outwardly good but he's helping me make sure I don't go overboard but at the same time to take more initiative in meeting her emotional needs.
To anyone who's watching my thread; patience and perseverance are crucial! Just because a WAS doesn't acknowledge your improvements, they do notice.
My W said to me this weekend that one thing that has helped her regain trust in me was my patience and willingness to stand and fight for her even when she knew she was doing wrong (her words).
Last edited by Rzrback; 12/15/1407:39 PM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
High five! My WAS doesn't even want to talk to me, so he's not seeing diddly. LOL. Ahhhh, affair lust. How stupid it is.
Anyway, we're so rooting for you! Keep workin' it!
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
I really like you sitch, Razrback. Keep on posting.
Originally Posted By: Rzrback
To anyone who's watching my thread; patience and perseverance are crucial! Just because a WAS doesn't acknowledge your improvements, they do notice. My W said to me this weekend that one thing that has helped her regain trust in me was my patience and willingness to stand and fight for her even when she knew she was doing wrong (her words).
Originally Posted By: Little
High five! My WAS doesn't even want to talk to me, so he's not seeing diddly. LOL. Ahhhh, affair lust. How stupid it is.
Aah, the old question of "Do they see our changes?" Of course, we do them for ourselves anyway (I'm surprised at how well I shaped up in only a couple of months), but I also believe that they might see them.
I'm lucky that my kids report on some of the stuff I do to my W ("Daddy's working out?? What else?"), but I also ran into her in the street by coincidence once and I was happy to be well-dressed in new clothes. It might be a friend who will report, a chance encounter, seeing us from a distance, a way of talking, our name somewhere on a website, a Tweet, an Instagram picture, a picture in the Facebook post of a friend, etc.
Even if we don't have direct contacts, we should not give up hope that they will see our changes. Also, some changes are for the long run (like the gym) and will be ready for the day we may re-initiate contacts. So let's be optimistic about our visibility and believe that it will happen in due time.
Thanks for the testimonial, Rzrback.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
Sounds like things are going your way Rzr! Way to go and keep up the great work. I hope you can move to piecing.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
