I moved into the laundry room on a cot bed for a while. Now I am in the day room which has a daybed in it.
If H wants to go live in a poke hole: let him! Next time he mentions it, "thanks H, I would be very grateful if you could do that over Xmas, over weekends etc etc., every alternate Thursday"
Space for you.
LRT to me means Let RTemporarily (go). Darkness no contact for at least 90 days. No contact at all apart from real practical stuff. I have that planned April to September 2015. (Thanks HP for advice on 6 months). Plans hey, well at least a starting point.
Go have fun for you. Go GAL, act as if. Do a 180 on it.
It's your time now Vanilla
Last edited by Vanilla; 12/13/1404:09 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Yes, Cadet, I was referring to myself. My H tends to do his own laundry. I do mine, my son's, and the general household laundry. I cook food for my son and I and if my H is around, he will eat with us too.
I don't see LRT as being dark. Going dark is a different road. The 37 rules are ideas for doing a LRT.
Any interaction is up to him. You do not initiate interaction with him, except maybe speaking hello or goodbye. Center your life around you and son, but not him. You should not appear angry or sullen. Instead, you are very happy and busy in making a life that does not necessarily include him. It is up to him to decide to change that setting.
Don"t act like a pitiful, rejected, left behind W who is pleading for him to want her. Heck no, if he doesn't want you in his life, then you won't waste your valuable time on him. Life is too short, and you do not have to settle for crumbs or leftovers. Showing spunk and confidence is admired by men. Acting pitiful, lonely, crying, whining, moody, angry, pursuing, etc., has the opposite affect on men. Trying to make him feel sorry for you or guilting him will not work.
You don't have to leave the room every time he enters it, but neither should you act as if you are starving for a few minutes of his attention. You can survive without it. Make sense?
When or if he comes in the house, he should see you enjoying whatever you are doing at the time. Cook dinner for you and son and eat without him, instead of waiting and hoping he will come home. Go about life as if he were completely out of the picture.
When he does interact, respond as if he were a nosy neighbor. You know how you would deal with a nosy neighbor, right? Nice but not givng much information out, and not spending a long time with him. Speak, wave, and keep moving.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi2, Thank you for that. I do tend to have a positive attitude, in general, and I have been pretty independent my whole life, so all of that is easy for me. The suggestions about interactions that you gave are invaluable. These are the tough things for me. I will really have to try hard there. I am unaware of the 37.... can you point me in the direction of where I will find that?
Vanilla, The cot in the laundry room cracks me up! I am sleeping in my bed in my bedroom, and I'm fine with that. Where he sleeps is on him.
Do any of you think I should be suggesting that he take the offer of living elsewhere?
