Doing the limbo thing (thread 7)

[Sotto]

Hi Shodan, I'm sorry to hear you're finding things hard. People say piecing is hard. I hope one day to find out!!

I think the important thing here is that whatever you agree here has to work for you both. It is really important to you that there is full transparency here, and it isn't being offered.

So, it sounds reasonable for you to say - I'm not willing to do this - to put in the huge effort and faith in out M - without that.

If you carry on with the niceness and the ML - all of which is lovely, especially after what you've been through - but without this fundamental thing in place, things will unravel.

Plus, the whole thing about why she doesn't want to be fully transparent doesn't ring true. Whilst she clearly wants to work on things with you, is she also just wanting to leave a little 'chink' just in case OM gets in touch? It'll eat you up anyways....

Now, I'm no expert, and not a vet, but just offering my 0.02's worth..

[UpperCu]

"The ironic thing is that my "pain" in my chest is worse now than it was when we were DBing. I was detaching from her and trying to get to a point where I did not care what she did. I was GALing more and was in a better emotional spot. Now, we are together, and seemingly very happy. She says nice things to me (etc. tells me I look sexy/hot, tells me that I smell nice, tells me that I am perfect the way that I am, etc.), buys me things, we spend time together, we ML, etc, and yet I feel like my heart is broken even worse. I don't know if the pain is caused by the lack of full transparency OR the A."

Does it feel like you're eating a half-baked cake here? If so, why not put the cake back into the oven to finish baking...