Jefe, glad to hear you sounding more upbeat. It sounds like you have a nice day planned.
Originally Posted By: Jefe
Ah, but wait. she just bridged the gap and texted first just now. She said she may not have to work late and wants to come over tonight afterwards. Mixed emotions, but thankful for anything the kids and I can get.
Let me chastise you ever so slightly about the above. Jefe, you are worth more than "anything I can get". I know you are happy to be able to spend time with your W and I'm happy that you'll be able to. But, Jefe dear, you are coming across here as waiting around for her scraps, whatever meager provisions she chooses to toss under the table. I hope you don't really mean that. You are worthy of the best meal on the good china, babe. Hold your head up high and remember you are a child of The Most High God. Your worth comes from Him, not her. This is a great day to remember that.
You are correct. What's more on my heart is that God has been working on her a lot in the last 7 days and that this is more about Him and her and less about me. And I'm completely OK with that. God's got us covered.
What I meant by I'll take what I can get is that I was actually pretty OK with her not coming, but if she wants to, I'll take it.
Merry Christmas, RPP.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
The wife was here at the house for almost 8 hours today and then took the girls to a movie. I had an enjoyable day, today. I guess it ended up being a little much for her, though.
This man is grateful for his family and very thankful that the possible powder keg brewing with several different family member combinations never happened. It was peaceful and enjoyable. Grandma came and enjoyed herself too.
Some interesting things also took place early this morning. I'll blog tomorrow. Don't want to spoil the Christmas mood just yet.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Well, Where to start... We (the girls and I) had a pleasant Christmas Eve. Breakfast, shopping, gift wrapping, Candle Light services, etc. The wife called in the middle of the day to say she was going to get off early and was going to one of the candle light services (yay!!!) and wanted to come by and visit for a little afterwards. She did and it was very comfortable. The kids almost spilled the beans on everything she was getting for Christmas from us, but it all worked out. We got them to bed and then the wife and I found ourselves sitting in the L/R in our usual spots pre-BD, both quite relaxed. I think it made her very uncomfortable after a little while though, because she sprang up and announced that she was leaving and said she'd return in the morning at 9am. Our family was getting together around 11. It all sounded great to me.
I'm not going to lie, it was very sad not having the wife to wake up next to on Christmas morning. I didn't sleep well at all and had great trouble even getting to sleep even though I was exhausted. The thought of what she might be doing, who she might be with on this Christmas Eve. Truth is, it was close to 9 when she left here and nothing was open, I think she went straight home. I do know this much, while I was on FB early Christmas morning I noticed that she did a little purging of her friends list and OM3 and related friends were among the causalities. Hmmm.
Kids miraculously slept in till a little after 7. A first in Christmas history. Santa was good to them and we were having a great time. Mommy came early around 8:30 (Thank you God) and we had a wonderful morning with the kids, even went outside so we could ride our new bikes. Wife and I had some tender moments and closeness. Exchanges some jokes even flirted back and forth a bit. She even let me rub her shoulders for a second or 2. It was almost like old times. I didn't get sucked up this time. I participated but mentally kept my distance.
Later in the morning I went with my mom to the rehab facility (only 2 miles away) to pick up Grandma. Boy, she was in rare form when we got there. Wanted us to wait until they served lunch because it might be something good. I was very concerned with how everything was going to go because of her attitude.
My 22 year old step-daughter from my previous marriage came as well, which is fairly normal (My MIL can't stand her, also fairly normal).
Amazingly, everyone was peaceful and pleasant. Grandma completely enjoyed herself, MIL behaved herself and there was zero awkwardness toward the wife. Wife flirted with me more and I enjoyed every minute of my Christmas.
Now, after everyone was leaving I think the situation started weighing on the wife because we had a not so pleasant exchange right at the end. I am choosing to not let that drag me down or think about it any longer. She maintained for almost 8 hours.
She took them to see a movie and brought them back around 7. She stayed for just a few, then off she went. I believe straight home because she had to work today.
We had a testy exchange about money today but overall she has reached out several times and been pleasant.
She's kept up a happy PMA but there is no way she's not hurting too. I'm thankful she came. Thankful from the glimpses of my old wife, thankful Grandma enjoyed herself and thankful the rest of the family behaved themselves.
Christmas #2 with wife's cousins tomorrow night. Wife is not invited, she doesn't even know about it, but she has to work anyway. Not my choices.
I'll blog more tomorrow.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Without going to candlelight service, it she's not hurting as much as you need her to hurt, if the situation isn't weighing on her as much as you think it should?
What I see in your post is a lot about what may or may not be happening with her and not much about you. You're hanging on her every reaction and want her to be your "old" wife.
No matter what happens, that wife isn't coming back.
This may sound harsh, but you need to let her go and create your best life without looking over your shoulder to see where she is.
I'm glad your kids got to be surrounded by a lot of love.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Hi There Jefe! Glad you had a good Christmas. Mine was great too.
One thing I did this year that really helped me is I purchased my own Christmas present. Santa brought me exactly what I wanted! I guess I made the "nice" list. ;-)
I've been driving the neighborhood crazy with my new RC flying gizmo and I can't tell you how much fun I'm having with the kids.
Keep at it, you will get there.
FD
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
"I think you're doing a wonderful job keeping up with the girls and the house and work. I'm blessed to have you as their father."
Labug, I haven't forgotten nor am I ignoring your post, still praying about it.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
