Oh Wow, that's a great compliment! You are doing a great job, and it's obvious to everyone. I'd tell her "thank you" and leave it at that however. You must feel that you are on the end of her yo-yo and statements like that can put you on a high. I suggest that you accept the compliment but don't let it draw you back in.
Remember your goal - if she wants to patch it back together, it starts with pastoral counseling. That's my first step also if my wife turns around. So far, she is not, but I can accept that.
FD
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
Happy New Year, RPP. I wish the same for you, my friend!
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Grandma came home yesterday. It's been very trying because her mind is faltering. She's gotten angry a few times over things she swears she remembers happening, but we know never did. She's unable to do grip anything and so on. So we'll see how this all works out.
Me and the kids were at church for a few hours New Years Eve because I had to play CR, then went to a friends house to hang out afterwards. The weather has been crappy since Tues so no park or bike riding for us, but we've been having fun none the less. When the wife had the kids last night, I got to go hang out at a few of my favorite spots to visit that I haven't seen in a long time like the huge Bass Pro Shops by the airport and the Gaylord Texan which always has an awesome Christmas display. Then I used one of my gift cards I got for Christmas and treated myself to a steak dinner, because this kid's been living on a Ramen noodle and Mac n Cheese budget for a few weeks now. My PMA is a whole lot better now that everything around me has seemed to level out a bit and Christmas is finally over. I will be so glad when school starts back up and life gets back to normal.
Wife has been very involved in our lives since just before Christmas. She has come by a few evenings to just hang out with us, she has started calling almost every day, again, just to "check on the girls" but she usually just talks to me. She has come to get the girls a few extra times including last night. While she had the girls she called me for no other reason than just to see what I was doing and just to talk. She called several times wanting to know what we were doing for NYE. I think she wanted to hang with us but didn't know how to ask. I was going to offer but I knew she didn't want to hang at the church so I just left it alone.
She deleted OM3 and his pals from FB Christmas morning and deleted Suspected OM2 New Years day as well as a couple of other people purged in-between. She was here today and feeling very comfortable. We were talking in our bedroom and she even went to use the bathroom with the door open while still talking to me (this hasn't happened in months, door is usually locked). What does this all mean? I don't have a clue. I do know that I am being me. I'm not chasing but I'm mirroring. She's getting a little testy about money but I'm holding my ground on what I believe to be sound decisions. I am starting to see more and more of the fog lift but I'm not firing up the moving truck. So all in all, I'm okay with life for right now. Not how I choose for things to be, but I'm okay.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Good to hear Jefe. You sound lots better than before. Now then, the main things are to make sure your expectations stay very low, and that your betterness is linked to you feeling better in yourself and not because your W has warmed up a little..
Good for you though....I'm pleased for you matey!
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
"I think you're doing a wonderful job keeping up with the girls and the house and work. I'm blessed to have you as their father."
Labug, I haven't forgotten nor am I ignoring your post, still praying about it.
Jefe. Of course they know they are blessed, when their man has them no matter what type of side situations they get involved in.
I wouldn't let the statement hook you or change your resolve. I see you guys have an age gap, what was the ages of the guys she messed around with? Where they younger than her? Older? Same age?
Did the affairs start on FB? Perhaps for you to continue forward you are allowed to monitor phone calls, emails and FB for the next year? Or else you have to pull your support and take care of only yourself.
They are going to cheat if they want to cheat, and if there is no repercussion they have no reason not to want to do it again.
One repercussion was you withdraw all of your emotional and financial support for a long enough period of time for her to decide that she has it good and she wants to do right by your marriage.
It means she's been spending more time at your house, more time with her daughters and has the same boundaries with the man she's no longer in an intimate R that she did when they were in that R.
As toots said, watch the expectations.
Don't jump on her ride. Stay your course.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
