Need advice here - working the process but..

[Vanilla]

Great job Jan

Vanilla

[HeavyD]

I am in the same place - still awful but more resigned to it.

Took my kids to the LA Arboretum which a a tree/plant sanctuary. I did it all by myself, and felt pretty good about it. I know it's not a big deal, but to me, it is a big thing. I have done everything with my wife for the past 20 years and the loss of her has left me paralyzed.

I forced myself to get up, get the kids up and go. It was a 20 mile drive there. Again, not a big deal for most folks, but a really big deal for me.

Hooray for me, and now back to my Pity Party.

[HeavyD]

More than anything, it feels like my wife is a spoiled bratty little kid who is "teaching me a lesson". I hate that.

[u-turn]

Great job with the kids NAJ

I hate the feeling that this is all some kind of scorecard that is yet to be balanced out. Or they haven't won by enough yet. I wish we could say Ok, you win. lets start this over, but it seems like it's never enough for them.

[HeavyD]

Right - like some awful no participatory game that I am forced to play. I am not playing for much longer. I have tired of the game. The next card is my choice.

[HeavyD]

I have gone dark on FB too, completely not playing that game either. I thought well I will post my trip on FB to "show" my wife that I can live/function without her. Obviously, that is the WRONG thing to think and do and it's not about her anymore. It's about me and my kids. So, she is not privy to what we do anymore.

I also hated seeing FB posts with her and the kids, I swear she is taunting me through FB - look how great and happy we are without Mommy (me). I am through with that game too.

[HPoirot]

Hey Naj fantastic fun day with you and your kids. I know putting together that kind of day on your own is hard just in general... much more so under these circumstances. But you did it and you will keep doing it. You're the one who's right and you will reward yourself with a better life. Just keep going.

[HeavyD]

Thanks HP for the vote of confidence. One day at a time one foot in front of the other, one deep breath after the next.

Even if no one ever knows how hard this is for me, I will keep treading up the hill as we all do.

Thank you for caring HP.

[Cadet]

More than anything, it feels like my wife is a spoiled bratty little kid who is "teaching me a lesson". I hate that.

If thats the way YOU feel, maybe it is something YOU can change.

It is YOUR feeling not hers, after all.

[Sotto]

Good job with the FB decision! I think for many people in our sitches, looking on FB just causes a huge load of pain and upset. Things are tough enough without torturing ourselves with FB too!