Raliced, your story about the laundry is so funny! (sorry her name is Lisa)
I was doing my own laundry today (before reading your post) and was thinking about how I always did WAH's laundry. I mean, always. And I hated doing it but I felt I had to in order to be a good wife. So today when I was doing my own laundry I suddenly wondered whether he likes doing his laundry now or if he wishes I was still taking care of that for him.
Funny the little things that come up with these situations we are in.
You might be the first person on these boards to ever complain about having laundry done for you!!
The dips in the rollercoaster will still keep coming. The difference is how far they dip and how long they last. I have noticed that in the last few weeks I have been doing things because I enjoy them and being around people I want to be around. Prior to that I was doing things because GAL is part of DB, and being around people was better than being alone.
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
So prior to BD I never did the laundry, not because I wasn't willing but because my wife insisted she likes doing it and EVERY time I did any there was some kind of criticism over how I had done it wrong.
W felt the laundry was getting on top of her and I felt I wasn't allowed to do it.
Post BD it all gets split fairly equally and occasionally my wife still tells me I've done something wrong but I just thank her for the telling me.
Amazing how laundry can be such a big issue
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Good lord I have to comment on the laundry. My xh turned on the washing machine once about 5 years ago (when we got new washer). He then was going to turn it on before he moved out, and he had no clue how to do so. Literally. Zero. Now, I'm sure he's figured it out:-)
Hope 2015 goes well for you. Focus on you and your girls' laundry:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Another laundry story? My H asked me to stop doing his laundry because I didn't do it correctly. I am not sure if I didn't hold my pinky up when turning on the washer or what. But that was fine by me, have at it, H.
Ha! who knew laundry was such a hot topic! I believe that when STBX banned me from doing his laundry, the stated reason was that he wasn't the kind of guy that needed his wife to do his luandry for him. Secretly, I thought he was embarassed about the general smelliness of it all. Anyway - its funny to me that he is now willing to let OW do his laundry.
Not having to arrange my laundry cycle around his is just one of the little reliefs of not having to cohabitate with another adult.
I know I've mentioned that I'm not at the point where I wonder if I would ever find a meaningful marriage again. But in all honesty, I have wondered if I could ever go through the necessary adjustments to merge households and live with someone again and frankly is seems pretty unappealing at the moment.
My H was always a bit of a nuisance when it came to doing laundry. He would see 'doing laundry' as putting it in the machine and turning it on - nothing else. So, I would get nasty surprises of washing that was 'done' but just sitting wet in the machine. H then away for work and I would have to deal with it..
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I know I've mentioned that I'm not at the point where I wonder if I would ever find a meaningful marriage again. But in all honesty, I have wondered if I could ever go through the necessary adjustments to merge households and live with someone again and frankly is seems pretty unappealing at the moment.
Raliced,^^^^^^^^^^
Yes, I think that quite often. I don't mean that in a defeatist manner either-rather quite factually. I do believe everyone here can and will love again. However, I do think some things in regards to future Rs are permanently altered(and I don't mean new and better behaviors and communications). Time will tell. I make you have a crowded bed as I do and at this moment, it's difficult for me to imagine that changing. Time will tell.
You are doing great:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I know I've mentioned that I'm not at the point where I wonder if I would ever find a meaningful marriage again. But in all honesty, I have wondered if I could ever go through the necessary adjustments to merge households and live with someone again and frankly is seems pretty unappealing at the moment.
I ASSUME I'll be in a meaningful marriage someday... In good time. Just because knowing and loving someone that way is something I want to do with my life. But I'll do it VERY differently next time, linger and savor over the process and be sure we're working together.
I used to find the laundry totally overwhelming. Since I quit doing H's it has seemed manageable (I did every scrap of it since we were first married and he ruined two pairs of my dress pants...) I wonder why just taking his out of the equation made it so much easier?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
