Heather, You need to set a boundary w/him. Advise him of your work hours and that you will not be available during those hours for texts, emails or phone calls unless it is an absolute emergency. You've laid everything out and he needs to realize and accept that you are still on probation and need to keep your focus on your job during those hours.
I don't trust him one iota. The man has proven time and again that he can't be trusted. Keep your emails short, to the point and sweet. They can't focus on lengthy correspondence. I know, you tried to stay on point and then he sucked you back in. As for his selfie, put it on a voodoo doll and poke pins in the doll. That was such a childish move on his part. Yeah, he misses you alright. He sure was baiting the fishing line.
BTW, I'm glad you and D12 did something fun. You have to let your hair down once in a while and it appears that both of you enjoyed yourselves.
As for your D12's twitter account, discuss it w/her and if she doesn't want him to have access, so be it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Maybe he wanted to jog your memory of what he looked like? He might think he looks handsome. Who knows...but I certainly wouldn't worry too much about it. There's not enough lipstick out there to put on the lips of this pig, i.e., nothing has changed even w/the lipstick all over his face. LOL!
Let it go and just shake your head. He needs prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
When I first came on these boards, I would read about those who have followed this path before me. They would talk about how their lives are so much better, whether the MLC-er comes back or not.
And, these posters would sound so OK. And, in all my pain and grief, I just couldn't fathom ever being OK again.
I couldn't fathom ever being in a place where I could see myself happy without my spouse.
Well, Hallelujah!
I think I get it now. :-)
I wish I could pour this feeling through the Internet so you all could get a taste of it. This journey is worth it. All the pain leads to something better than before.
It's not about him. It's about me. I'm different. I expect more. I deserve more. I know myself. I'm not going backwards.
I pray for him. I hope he finds his way...with me or wherever...but, I'm not his patsy anymore. And, I think he knows it.
The selfie this man sent...well, I could do better and, since he's left, I have actually.
I took a close look. Bloodshot eyes, sallow skin, bloated face...not the picture of health I usually feel attracted to. I would not, NOT, pick this guy out of a dating site and seek him out. If he tried to message me, I'd delete him...especially when I read "smokes regularly," "drinks socially"...
That was the weird part...that's what struck me as weird. It looked like a picture from a dating site.
In other news...I told my mom about the selfie. She called and asked if I would send it to her. I asked her Why? and who she was planning to show it to? I declined. I said, "Mom, he's a very sick man...I'm not sending his sad picture around town for giggles."
What was really interesting, D12 overheard. She became irate and full of passion. "Don't send it to MeMaw. He's sick mom. That's just wrong. IT's WRONG!"
Still, she doesn't want to see her dad in the picture. Doesn't want to share her Twitter account. Responded to him once on the texting app and refuses to read any more he writes to her. I feel a bit sick at his sickness tonight.
But, D12 and I are spending the evening sprucing up our pad :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
And, the other woman really comes to mean nothing. She was just there at the right time.
The family you had with your spouse isn't diminished by all of this crap.
I've been thinking about this man and dreaming about the man I knew...that's not who he is. He is a broken man. I had him at his best. He used to be Heather-worthy...today, not so much.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
