With the D's athletics during the school,year it's easier said than done, but we'll start with once a week. If and when we find more opportunities, we'll take them.
Last edited by Rzrback; 02/10/1503:06 AM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Also in your meeting, please ask D what would help her, some of it may not be possible, but some of it may be easier. For example D may like an update on her mother's health after a doctor visit, or may want reassurances that the severity of W health issues is being told to her. Only D15 can tell you, please know that this may settle D especially if you ask D for particular help. perhaps D could make breakfast or help in some way that she is able to do so.
I used to foster troubled teens (not suggesting your D is in that category) but letting teens be involved is important. I learned after case meetings to feed back to the teen involved. For example : we are having a meeting on x which may involve your next foster placement. Is there anything you would like me to say on your behalf or consider? Ok not sure if that is possible but I will feed back to you on what was said as far as I am able. Then in the meeting, teen X and I had a chat about Y and would like us to know Z. I am going to feedback about ZZ, unless advised otherwise. Then teen X I told you we had a meeting about Y and I discussed Z and I can feedback ZZ or no decision was reached on ZZ and I have no feedback to give you.
My H1 was absolutely amazing with the kids and unlike V truly could help with their anxiety. V was a sloooow learner but eventually did learn. I would bet Rzr knows all this already so please just consider V as rambling.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 02/10/1506:38 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Thank God...it's not a tumor. Turns out it's a benign growth; she'll be able to have it removed with a small outpatient procedure.
Breakfast is difficult due to W's work schedule, but there's not much reason we can't have dinners together at least three times a week, now that I think about it.
Vanilla, that's good advice. The health issue looks to be resolved, or will be shortly. I agree that involving D15 more in decision making where appropriate would be helpful. I know she feels very powerless right now.
Last edited by Rzrback; 02/10/1510:43 PM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Her relief at learning that she does not have cancer lasted a few hours, then we were right back into things.
She seems to be moving from anger into depression. She even said last night that she wasn't angry like she once was. She just doesn't feel connected to me. She's not interested in the things she normally is. She doesn't get excited or look forward to things. I know these are classic signs of depression. As hard as it is to write these words, she's working through a breakup, even though her A was relatively limited.
I see small signs of hope. She did tell me that some of our pre-existing issues don't seem quite as big to her as they used to be. My parents are still a huge issue, but some of the other issues aren't so much. She's also finally realizing and acknowledging that we have had plenty of good times in our M. Early on in our sitch, she would (classic WAW) claim that she was unhappy for most of our 19 years. She still feels disconnected from me, but that's classic depression talking. Her rhetoric is that she wants to want me, but can't make herself get there.
We're talking about getting away for a weekend here soon. Before children, we used to run off on a Saturday to a nearby larger city to run around the mall, eat at a favorite restaurant, and just enjoy being out of town. We're going to do that again; maybe also go to an aquarium or the zoo. This time we can afford to stay overnight. Not talking about anything with romantic pressure. That's not really either one of our styles anyway. She admits to feeling panic at the idea of being alone with me for that long.
She talks about wanting more laughter in her life; that was something that OM brought her. I'm trying to find more ways to bring humor in; I manage to make friends and co-workers laugh all the time, but I know in her current emotional state nothing I say or do will be funny to her.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
