That is what I'm think but boy it really got me thinking of her and me. I'm gonna stay strong. It's by far a marathon. And I will definitely not be around for v day. Probably gonna go camping. Thank you guys for the support and wisdom it helps more than anything
Rysin, you're honestly really impressive. It's very hard for a "newbie" to go even this long with "nothing" - no reactions, no responses, no communication - from W and keep going on the same path anyway.
But "nothing" is a helluva lot better than throwing yourself at her and getting what would come from THAT sort of action. You seem to "get" this.
Take this to the bank: If your W doesn't come back around, she's a fool. And she's missing out.
And if that's the case? The next girl who comes around to you is going to land herself a gem.
Remember that. And stay the course, bro.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
I don't agree, I'm just stubborn. She is the world to me. Always has been and always will be. I wakeup aching for her to be here. But I am also a rational person and I realized early that this was not about me and what I could do. I will not allow myself to give up on her, but she needs to see this is her road to travel and though she is doing things I do not agree with or support if and when she finds herself again I will be that constant in her life like I always have. But God almighty knows I die inside every night and day when she is not next to me. Or I don't hear from her.
Going on two weeks of no contact is like being cut with a razor 1 million times without rest. It burns, stings and just down right makes you wish you stopped breathing. BUT.... I will not give in. I will not break.... strength and honor..!
One of my dear friends says: "I don't care what you call me. Just call me." You can call it what you want, but you ARE doing great. You're trusting the process, even though it isn't (naturally) bringing the "fast" results that so many people want and expect.
I know it hurts. But you're on the right path.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
Your an inspiration for what strenght is all about. I'm struggling every day to keep it together. I'm now 1 month in frm bd and can't beleive I've made it this far. Keep going stay strong and beleive it will get easier what ever happens
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
So this morning she sends me a text thanking me for finding her wallet she lost in the house, she ask where I found it. I said you're welcome and explained where I found it. That is all I said. But then I might have taken a step back. I went upstairs and saw our dog snuggled up in the blankets. I took a picture and sent it to her. I didn't even think about it until I sent it. I didn't say anything just the picture. Probably not a smart move. I feel stupid.
yeah, she actually responded cordially I was worried at first. But I guess she liked the pic. Now it's time to go stealth mode and stop talking to her again. Until she initiates.
No DBing tenet has to be 100% pure and consistent. Remember, at its roots, the overall teaching here is "Do what works." So if you try a little kindness or even pursuit like that, monitor the results. If she responds positively, do it from time-to-time, IF it doesn't mess with your own detachment (that's part of "monitoring results" too!). If it messes with YOUR head, then try not to do much of it.
To me, pets are like kids (I have three cats and two dogs), and so this is almost a "co-parenting" thing to me, lol.
Thanks starsky, it felt good to just send something nice, I know it made her smile. And I don't think atm that it did anything to me. But then again we shall see. But I can't make a habit out of it. Maybe like you Said every once in a while. And see what kind of response I get. I am making sure not to say anything. again thank you for the support and advice it is greatly appreciated.
You can call it what you want, but you ARE doing great. You're trusting the process, even though it isn't (naturally) bringing the "fast" results that so many people want and expect.