Part 15 - a blue edz rising

[edz]

Hi gg

Yup thats pretty close to what I'm now doing.

Looking through some groups for cinema, photography, books and community right now. The closest is a ways away so far I'll keep looking though.

[edz]

Morning all.

Well just about to get up (no snooze buttons Jim) and start the exercises before a shower. Then walking up to the hairdressers and then another shower to get rid of all the loose bits new top new jacket pick up kit and off to w to sort PC files.

Later I'm assuming I'll be done by lunch and leave then go into town to look for day to day trousers and tops so I can dump all my old stuff.

Interestingly emailed w to confirm time, she said was thinking you'd gone very quiet and here you are! Not reading a lot into that it could just be a jokey reply but I didnt contact her yesterday, not sure if that was noticed.

Got a line on 2 or so local groups through meet up waiting to hear back on contact from them. Cinema and photography with some (small group) socialising. Let's see if that works out.

Anyhoo must get moving.

Catch you all soon.

[Sotto]

All sounds good Edz. Hope you managed to get some nice stuff to wear....any jewel colours in your wardrobe yet?

Sounds like you were 'missed'......I would carry on this track for a little while and see how it goes - interesting...

Good for you with the groups :-)

[edz]

Well that was an interesting day as in I'm just back at 9:55 after spending since 11 this morning with w and s

Walked up and had my hair cut this morning before walking back and having a second shower getting my new duds on and heading to w with all the kit to transfer the files from her old PC, anyway this took quite a bit of time as there were a lot of files, pics as well as extracting and backing up her old outlook files.

While this was running w was running through some H.E. stuff with s and he was working in the kitchen. While we didnt get into R talk we did get into talk on s's education. We ran through the options and I said I did think a potential option for schooling may be a good one to give him a more regimented approach and to take some of the pressure from her. While we didnt really make any firm decisions we did have a good talk.

Then this afternoon I could see w was low. She sat down in the lounge and I asked her did she want me to go, she said no. I said it seemed to me that she seemed like she had too much on right now and she could talk to me on s. She had a small cry and I took her hand, we skirted R talk we didnt go into details but she did hold my hand and said she wanted to talk to me just not with s around. She's definitely torn right now shes not interested in seeing others and is happy im not pursuing dating right now.

She said she doesnt know why she never wants to go out with s for his education projects and the frustration shes having with getting him engaged with his work right now and she doesnt really understand why shes isolating noth s and herself, I asked her would she and s like to head out for a walk stretch out legs she was happy at that and we all walked down to the beach. We stopped at a cafe and had a glass of wine, orange for s, she and s had some cheesecake (I didnt order any for me) w asked me would I like to try hers and she fed me a spoonfull, we had a coffee while s had a scoot about, we had a quick chat, pets how we'd both love a dog, s and his behaviours and then a quick r talk - not the talk we need - but w basically reviewed that she cant just hit a reset switch, she'd been upset about a lot of things (all my 180s stuff) for a long time, we had a gentle talk about it, about how we'd both been talking but not taking in things from each other - it was soft, I said to w really its to her to think if she wants to stay in the marriage, all else is time, she knows I dont want us to part but I respect her. Then we walked back.

S was hungry, I'd finished the file transfers so said I could go unless she'd like some takeaway, she said she'd like that and we could all watch a movie together. One chinese takeaway and movie later we ended up watching some TV before s's bedtime. W was tired so I took my leave so she can head to bed and that was the day.

There was a lot more small stuff, small things but that felt very warm not to mention just being with them. A few points I probably pushed slightly into pursuing but they felt right at the time. When w came to the front door when I was packing the stuff in the car I kissed her hand and she said she understood what I said today waving me goodbye.

I know better than to ladle expectations on my sitch after the day, I take it for what it was, one of the best days Ive had in seven months.

Oh and w is having her delayed hair appointment wednesday early so s is coming around to stay tomorrow night.

[South74]

Edz,
Sounds like you had a really good day

[edz]

Hi south, yes it was, it really was. I'm obviously guarding against any expectations nothings changed and I need to remember that but I do feel w opened up a little to me today and s said as I tucked him in tonight that he'd really enjoyed it as well.

[edz]

Oh toots crimson tops I've decided, dumped all my light blue stuff as it just does nothing for me, trying to go for less baggy stuff as it makes me look bigger.

[rd500]

Hi Edz. Sounds like a great day and your W seems to be weighing up things. No vet advice but I think you are right taking the day for what is was and putting no expectations on it. For me , the more she comes forward you need to be very careful and its a tricky line to tread. The vets say 80% and I think it's a great guide line.

Really glad for you. It's great to read a positive tale

New day tomorrow and I will keep positive thoughts for things to stay even for you

Take care mate. , Rd

[Sotto]

Pleased you had a good day Edz....maybe it was the crimson that did it?? Hope things continue on this track for you - but don't put off GALing whilst you 'wait and see' - keep going forward on that track my friend...:-)

[edz]

Morning all

Thanks toots, maybe? The fresh haircut, new crimson fitted top jeans shoes and leather jacket must be departure mentally from the much heavier black jeans t shirt and less fit waterproof wearing me from last year so couldn't hurt!

I felt a bit more hope yesterday for the first time in a long time BUT I'm not changing anything else. We dangled a lot of threads yesterday so far nothings been firmly pulled and I'm not putting huge expectations on anything soon bar s being here this evening