Part 15 - a blue edz rising

[edz]

Thanks RD no, no expectations know better as the whole spare key thing proves..

[Sotto]

Hi Edz, I agree - best to keep things low key. Particularly if your W has mentioned the word 'pressure.' WAS's are very sensitive to 'pressure' and even the mention of how things may be going forwards - like what should we do with the key - can be felt as that, even if it seems a small thing for us.

I do think there are some positive signs, and for sure your W is thinking about things. For now, I would make your policy to not initiate anything else. Remember when you didn't text one day and your W seemed to miss you? Now, she's getting flustered at the mention of the key. It's all feedback.

As for the dinner invite, I would leave that completely alone for now and have no expectations it will happen. If your W comes back and says, hey shall we go out to dinner as we discussed - you can check your availability (around pre-planned GAL) and confirm. But don't raise it with her again - it may well scare her off.

Why not get back to your GAL planning? Sounds like some nice things were going on there...

Patience Edz - I think you have become discombobulated due to hope and expectations - and it is better to expect nothing and be neutral. That way you are pleasantly surprised when something nice does happen. Like RPP and the roses.

T (((Edz)))

[edz]

Well s and I went for an unplanned swim followed by dinner at MCD. W still at dinner with friends we just got back.

Yes will be planning something around gal soon, just waiting on the event diaries now and something not 90 miles away

Yup not mentioning anything about anything now, made all the offers she can let me know or more likely will retreat for a goodly long time and just hang out with s.

Thanks for the hug toots needed one this evening

[Sotto]

You're welcome Edz. Try and keep your chin up and push forward - I know it's tough. Look at my H - popped his head out of his little hole - and popped back in again - hasn't been seen since!

Yoga GAL for me tonight - really enjoying that. Glass of wine and some popcorn now :-)

[edz]

Hi toots thanks I'll try I did manage my expectations but its hard not to have a boost to hope sometimes.

W just came to get s so on my own again now, well apart from bft and a glass of red. Off to bed in a mo as tired after a not great night.

I stayed as PMA as possible as always I'm well presented although my usual cologne is more a whiff of chlorine after swimming still tidy shaved and smart even at home.

I stayed quite quiet this evening did offer a glass of wine which was refused as expected (she was driving and had some with dinner) just chivvied s off video games and everything else was packed up ready.

So likely just me bft, work, swimming and whatever gal I can fit in now until Saturday when s is back. Hey ho...off we go...

[Sotto]

"I did manage my expectations but its hard not to have a boost to hope sometimes."

I know, I struggle with this. When I heard from H, I got hopeful that we might be in contact again...maybe meet, sort out some house stuff together etc. It isn't easy to have no expectations.

I guess the main thing is that we manage not to go into a tailspin when our hopes are raised and then we are disappointed.

You're doing great, and I'm looking forward to hearing about your GAL. Next week, I'm off to make chocolates with a local ladies group. Their motto is fun, friendship, fundraising - so, we'll see how that goes!

[edz]

Sounds great toots. No idea as yet joined up with 3 photos, general group and cinema. Nothing in the diary as yet so will keep looking and join a few more, not tonight though.

Feeling a little drained both physically and spiritually tonight. Nothing like not standing thats stronger if anything this week but just feel the fights gone out of me tonight. Need to regroup, will just leave w to her own thing unless she contacts me which isn't too likely.

One thing I realised I didn't mention during the whole key debacle (and what WAS that about i almost wish I'd left her Locked out now) she said among other things

She didn't want to feel pressured if were spending time together

She hasn't ruled anything in or out

She's not stalling or messing about to get more time

The latter I forgot to mention. No idea if its relevant as I say just feel totally dB burned out tonight.

Anyway ooo 9pm I'm going to bed shattered and work tomorrow and I really do need to put in an appearance at the office so a 30 minute commute in the morning not just a walk to the office in the spare room.

Will still be online though, not a huge amount of hope of going straight to the land of nod.

Cheers.

[Ggrass]

Yeah, I didn't sleep easy at first then it was windy and dogs started an operetta!

So ok night but could have been better without the singing at the witching hour.

Need to get going I guess.

[edz]

Hi gg

We had a hell of a rainstorm, about 2:45 it was so loud it woke me up looked out the window and it was like the house was underwater just a sheet of rain and it was exceedingly loud.

Went on 15 minutes or so checked on s assuming he would be worried, no, snoring away...

Have a good one

[Ggrass]

It's funny how stuff can desturb you and the ruin sleep, or at least kill the quality aspect.

It's still looking ok for you. It's hard to keep hope and expectations low, even In Day to day life, let along things in which you have a vested interest.