Thanks Little and Toots! I appreciate your encouragement!
It's two steps forward, one step back. We had a great week and weekend until W made the mistake of looking at a pic of OM and his W on Facebook. Queue emotional crash. Geez.
With all that's going on; the arrival of OM, impending surgery, our issues, she's feeling pretty overwhelmed.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Yep, A pic on her FB page, his arm around her, helping her paint the interior of her store.
Did NOT sit well with W.
OM has cheated on his W twice before, by his own admission. I keep hoping that my W will figure out that this guy may just be lying about how unhappy his marriage actually is. I know if I was trying to start an A I certainly would not tell the prospective OW that I was happy with my W.
I share your opinion on OMs. It's not so much hate that I feel any more, it's just disdain. I view him as more pathetic than evil.
W has seen OM this morning, in the normal course of business. She called me to let me know. She claims that things were not awkward between them and that he's firmly back in the "friend zone". I'm taking that with a grain of salt, but if she believes it, great. She's never been one to placate me or tell me what I want to hear. We'll see.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
Yep, A pic on her FB page, his arm around her, helping her paint the interior of her store.
Did NOT sit well with W.
Originally Posted By: Rzrback
W has seen OM this morning, in the normal course of business. She called me to let me know. She claims that things were not awkward between them and that he's firmly back in the "friend zone". I'm taking that with a grain of salt, but if she believes it, great. She's never been one to placate me or tell me what I want to hear. We'll see.
Two contradicting stances...I suspect that the first one is the more "real" one for W. Still does not have the XOM out of her system completely.
Two contradicting stances...I suspect that the first one is the more "real" one for W. Still does not have the XOM out of her system completely.
Yeah, I rolled my eyes at the "friend zone" comment. I know better than to take what she tells me at face value. He won't be truly out of her system for months yet. She's still sticking to NC; not as much as I want, since she looked at him on FB, but I'm still confident that there's no two-way communication going on. She seems to be trying. Watch and wait.
Last edited by Rzrback; 03/10/1503:14 PM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
I could be wrong, but common sense at least tells me that the more W comes out of her own little bubble and sees things like A pic on her FB page, his arm around her, helping her paint the interior of her store, the more the reality will settle-in that he's not all she fantasized him to be. It will probably have a lot to do with her own mentality: The more she detaches from him (which will happen in time, even without much effort on her part, as long as she steers clear from physical interaction), the less those things will bother her. It's exactly the same as we actually make the effort to do here when we "go dark" and begin to detach. Know what I mean?
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
I could be wrong, but common sense at least tells me that the more W comes out of her own little bubble and sees things like A pic on her FB page, his arm around her, helping her paint the interior of her store, the more the reality will settle-in that he's not all she fantasized him to be. It will probably have a lot to do with her own mentality: The more she detaches from him (which will happen in time, even without much effort on her part, as long as she steers clear from physical interaction), the less those things will bother her. It's exactly the same as we actually make the effort to do here when we "go dark" and begin to detach. Know what I mean?
I hope that's the case. I would like to see all contact, even passive contact, stop entirely. My thought is that anything like that will keep emotions stirred up. Do I see signs that her feelings about OM aren't as intense? Yes. I just think that if she would make the break entirely that her feelings would dissipate that much more rapidly. She wants to detach from him and reconnect to me, but wants to do it "her way". Any suggestion I make that she take him off FB etc is interpreted as a demand, though even I don't see that as a nonnegotiable. I feel like she is sincere about wanting to reconnect with me, I just think that the way she's doing it is prolonging the agony, for her and for me.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
W has seen OM this morning, in the normal course of business. She called me to let me know. She claims that things were not awkward between them and that he's firmly back in the "friend zone". I'm taking that with a grain of salt, but if she believes it, great. She's never been one to placate me or tell me what I want to hear. We'll see.
A: "Thank you, (Wife), for letting me know that. I appreciate it."
