Wife ready to walk away

[Miler]

Man, I am struggling today. My mind is playing tricks on me and it [censored]...

[Miler]

So wife just texted me after the funeral: Can you please have the kids call me when they have a sec? After each of them spoke, my youngest handed me the phone. I said hello, she said, hey there. I asked how everything was going with the family. She said things are going fine. She then asked how I was. I said doing well. What time did you need me to pick you up at the airport tomorrow? She answered 9:00. I said, see you then.

It's killing me not to ask her if she misses me! It kills me not knowing what she is thinking, Staying tough and following Sandi's rules...

[sandi2]

Have you read the links Cadet gave?

Do suspect OM? Any suspicious or unusual behavior from her?

[Miler]

I have read through all of Cadet's posts. Great stuff.

Although I am not 100% certain there is not another man, i do not think so. Her father did that to her mother and she has always vowed and pleaded for honestly, especially related to fidelity. I do not think she would expose the kids to that after what her family went through. Again, I don't know for certain, but there are no signs of that what so ever...but I would say that where she is emotionally right now, she could be vulnerable to that.

[Miler]

This has a sense of her feeling controlled, not listened to, and feeling like she is on her own. She feels that were are a 15 year roller coaster of up periods and down periods. The down periods usually suck pretty bad... This is where I am doing my 180s. I do everything wrong to make her feel bad, guilty, and then I break all of Sandi's rules. Until now!

[Miler]

Here's the kicker Sandi and everyone... Her support and best friend from childhood that lives in the neighborhood has been divorced aonve, broke off an engagement once, and has bad relationship after bad relationship. Takes the easy way out. She does not have kids, but has a sister who is divorced with kids and is living a nightmare. Further, my W's older brother was divorced with kids 10 years ago and is still going through hell. She hangs with that friend every other day, and she is with her brother at the funeral this weekend. Uggggg.

[Zephyr]

Be Strong and focus on you and your kids. Remember you are working at making yourself the man you want to be (with or without her), the one only a woman would be a fool to leave. Have you started working on your goals, keeping track of your 180s, what are you doing for GAL? Make those changes for YOU. Make sure you are being true to yourself... we LBSs need to make sure first of all that we are being honest with ourselves...otherwise how in the world should we expect anyone, especially our WASs, to be honest with us. Learn to Respect yourself...this includes all of what everyone here has been repeating including learning to set healthy boundaries and learning to become a man you can look at in the mirror every morning and be able to smile At. None of any of the DB principals will make a difference if you cannot even respect yourself. Build from there.

I just stopped in to say stay strong and somehow the rest spewed out of the keyboard....so sorry if I am out of line with your sich...sounds similar to mine so thought I'd post.
I will tell you with absolute certainty that once your self respect starts to improve and your confidence in yourself begins to return, people around you will start to take notice.

[Zephyr]

Also, in all honesty, my last post was as much for me as it was intended for you. A healthy kick in the a$$ is a good thing for me once in a while.

[Miler]

Ok guys, I'm picking up WAW from the airport this evening. She is coming back from unlce's funeral. How should this go? I want to be sensitive, but also want to follow DB principles. Any input would be greatly appreciated!

[sandi2]

Be pleasant, upbeat but don't over-kill to the point you are acting weird. Be sensitive to the fact she's just lost a family member.

Number one thing here is to stay away from talking about yourself and/or the relationship. Your part is to listen to her talk about whatever.

Do not get sucked into any R talks or arguments. She will probably be tired, maybe irritable. Stay in control of yourself.