Need Help 2

[errod]

I am getting really confused now. After W texts me last night apologizing and then talking for about an hour, she stops by this morning to drop off D14's phone to me. D14 got in trouble so we are controlling her phone. The part that was strange is normally she would send D up to drop off what ever and she would wait in the car. This morning she did the opposite. W came up and D14 waited in the car.

She then said D14 did not bring any of her clothes over so she will see me tonight when I come over to pick them up.

The other thing I am confused about is if she is over me and said she wants me to move on and be happy. Why was she so upset last night when she thought that someone was after me. Her exact quote yesterday was "she knew we where done when she could look at me and see me with someone else and not be upset"

So the two thoughts running through my head are that she is afraid of what I will go after with my attorney and she is trying to play nice knowing I still love her and can be manipulated. Or things are hitting a point where she is a little nervous about her future with out me.

One other thing she said last night was I miss being married and the life we had, but I don't love you so it is not fair to stay together.

[errod]

I keep following everyone else's stories and I can't help but think my situation is hopeless. I am in such an advanced stage to everyone else.

W texted me a couple minutes ago to let me know that she signed the waiver that she needed to so I can use the attorney I wanted and that she has some pay stubs for me to give him. I just wrote back "sounds good". She just keeps pushing things along as fast as she can.

[Sotto]

Errod, I'm sorry you're feeling hopeless. My experience of reading sitches on the forum is that many (most?) get pretty dire before things start to improve. I think 'facing the end' is often a needed step in order for things to turn. Of course they may not turn at all...time will tell Errod.

One thing I will say is best not to try and analyse what your W is doing and why. It's best to keep the focus on you and your D as much as you can....

[HeavyD]

Errod

What is it you want to do? I assume you don't want this D?

If so, stall it out, work on yourself and see what happens. Just becuase someone wants a D and/or even files for D, the process can take years.

Just my .02 cents

[Closer2]

Try not to stress too much Errod. My D should be final any day. It was filed back in Dec. My W has been driven to get this done ASAP and I haven't been doing anything to block it or drag it out (other than trying my best to DB). My attorney is shocked that we are moving so quickly. You just filed and like most lawsuits Ds take some time.

It has helped me to accept that we are divorcing. There is nothing I can do to stop the divorce. However, do I really don't want to continue on with this M as it is/was? I don't.

If we ever do R, a new M would be a great to symbolize the hard work and dedication we both put into reconnecting and building a new life. That may or may not ever happen. I don't dwell on it but I have thought about it.

[errod]

I met with my attorney today and he had the divorce papers that my wifes attorney gave him. She put irrevocable differences. I declined to agree to those terms and that will force her to wait until we are separated for 1 year. She is probably going to be angry, but I will take my chances.

Also when reading all the supporting paper my attorney told me that this is the weirdest divorce he ever worked on. He sees me trying everything to save my marriage and my W make her own case for what I should be entitled to. He said he is an attorney and not a counselor but it doesn't add up.

[errod]

I have to take D14 to pick up clothes at my W's. I said we will be over after dinner around 7. She told me she had plans to go out with one of her girlfriends for coffee at 7, but will not be long and she will call me when she is done. Then she texted back saying if you want me to I can cancel my plans. I told her I did not know she had plans we will come over soon, enjoy your time out. She told me thank you that was so nice.

That was the first time in months she told me where or with who she was going out with. I also know she has not been out at all the last 5 nights.

I only got paranoid when she was sneaking around. I will never complain about honesty.

[Closer2]

"Insupportablility" is what her lawyer put on our decree. My L said it was the same irreconcilable differences. To be honest, I don't really care what the reason says on a legal document. They can't put "Wayward Wife" on it, I asked.

A friend told me I should care be because I may date someone in the future(waaaaaaay future) and they may pull the record.

Why would I want to date anyone that pull my divorce decree?

Part of me thinks I should do what you're doing, Errod. I could gain more time to work on DBing, so she could see the changes I'm making, see me GALing, etc. However, accepting the D is going to happen regardless has helped me detach. I don't consider it giving up, it's just an example of dropping the rope.

It's still hard to detach and remain detached. The one constant through all the stories on this board that end with a WAW returning is detaching.

Good job on telling her to enjoy her time out. I think they notice when we act "as if".

[errod]

So I took D14 to get her clothes. W and I talked about our days in the kitchen why she packed. I did ask W if she has been watching Breaking Bad on Netflix. She said she has not watched it since we watched it together because it was our thing. When we were leaving W said I will walk yous out and that she was locking up for the night. She said she did not feel like going out tonight. Then when we walked out the door she called out and said I love you guys. She has not said that in months in front of me.

I honestly have no idea what is going on. I don't know if she is buttering me up to try to manipulate me on the divorce settlement. I do have to keep that in the back of my mind because otherwise I will get anxious and jump the gun again and screw up.

She will probably find out tomorrow from her lawyer that I am not going along with the divorce. She will then most likely flip out.

D14 was saying to me today why was W flipping out last night about the girl at the bank asking about you. She is the one that left you and keeps telling you that you need to move on. I just said welcome to the confused club.

I just got an email from the my D14's cheer leading coach about the year end banquet on April 4th. I looked at the people that got the email and my W is not on the list. She is going to flip out. Next time I talk to her I may just tell her the coach texted me and not that she sent out a mass email.

[sandi2]

They can't put "Wayward Wife" on it, I asked.

You would think if they could put "insupportability" they could use WW.