My brain tells me to go ahead and end it. Because I know I will get better. But my heart want let me. I still love my wife and my young son so much. I know everyone wonders this when they have the bomb dropped, but I have this question that I will never know. How could the love of my life and my best friend turn on me and break my heart with no care in the world. She carries on as if she never knew me as if I am a stranger to her with no love in her eyes. Why can't I feel that way. I will never love this hard again or give my heart away like I did to anyone.
Consider moving back into your home. Your Wayward Wife should be moving out not you. This is very tough but keep posting and we can support each other here. My partner too chases other relationships and it is very painful and confusing.
Can you also do me a favour would you go to my stuff at the bar at the top of the page and complete your tag. That is the part at the bottom of each post which has ages, kids, length of M etc. That is very helpful to fellow Dbers.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 04/15/1510:27 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
She had affair in 2012. We got back together and found the love and friendship we had before. I am not perfect by any means, but I followed all the rules I had learned on how to be the emotioal supportive husband I should be. So yes she had one affair before this. But with this new job and move I had not been the husband I could have been laying a lot of respond ability on her that I should have been doing as the leader of the house.
This may sound crazy but I think it would hurt at this point to move back in the house. At least I know my son is there and safe for now and in his room he has gotten to know and feels safe in.
So time for a bit of a pep talk. I read through here and saw myself 8 months ago. Go back and read my threads if you want. I was just as confused (then again it seems we all are) I saw how calm and collected W was and was like "Wow, she's done..done" I didn't even know there was any problems in our M.
76, our WW have prepared for this; its scripted. They felt comfortable with the BD. But if you're like most of the sitches here, LBS and WW are total opposites during BD heading in different directions. WW are bold and confident and then the clock starts ticking on the downward spiral, it seems like most WAS referenced here get worse as time goes by...why? Because their unhappiness is in themselves. Running away from a H/M/kids is not changing that.
On the other hand, we are at the lowest point (I literally was in a fetal position crying on the sofa in front of my mom a few days after BD) and then we start getting 'better.' Better is not the right term probably improving is more relevant, but we do. It seems like about 3-4 months after BD, is where we (WAS/LBS) tend to be at the same points as we pass each other, both miserable. Then they get continue to get worse and we continue to get better. And (I just posted this somewhere else) God Willing, they get to a point that they realize that they still have the same feelings they were trying to run from and then....get help.......then and only then does the path seem to have the ability to start to mend. But none and I mean absolutely, positively none of this can we control. I read these things and thought "nah, my sitch is different, I can just talk to her and she'll come back" That was 8 months ago (to the day, now that I think about it)
76, its tough, but look out for 76. Get out, take the kid(s) out, hang out with people. Its gut wrenching, but like I said, its the first step to improving.
You can do this.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
As I last stated in my post. Wife has agreed to go back to couseling. She has informed me that we will have no physical relations during this time because of the emotions it will cause. Wife says we will follow only couselers guide lines. Also still telling me she does not no what she wants. I feel the reason she wants no physical contact is because this would start the hole process of the seperation agreement over for the year we have to be seperated for her to file foe divorce. I have not signed any paper from her lawyer yet. She is really pushing me to sign this giving her primary custody of my son. She has a fear I will try and take him away. It looks to me that if she really wanted to work on the marriage she would have never had an agreement drew up wanting me to sign. Also she wants very little contact with me. I do have an attorney that knows all this also. Could someone please give me some advice. How should I handle this. Do I wait or move on. If I wait and take a chance hoping she will wake up what do I do and how do i act. I do believe there is another man that's more than friends as she says that is one of the members of her new friends group.
I truly believe she does not have good intentions for our marriage. Please give some input.
What would make you think otherwise, she had an A she wants to leave the M. 1976, you're going to have to do this on your own it for a while. I know it's not what we want, but 90% of the WW there are not looking at their marriage when they walk away. Have you read DB for DR look at it takes one to tango.Read on here about WW, and how they are in a fog. There's little you can do to get them out of the fog. Now the time to protect yourself, your kid, and your assets. Why would you think you shouldn't see a lawyer.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
