I heard here that if we think that going through S and a possible D is difficult, then we will give up once we face all the pain of reconciling.
It's hard work, and it is such fragile situation that you may feel like walking on eggs all the time. The best will be to take it easy and do not jump into the R so fast.
By other hand, it's also so exciting that he wants to work on the M, there is hope depress, and that is very important and very promising. Have some fun too, maybe you guys can date, dress nice and charming and relax a little bit.
Praying for you and your M. Easy now, everything will be OK.
oh pink im back to square one. i jumped in on the r to fast and the ow pulled him back in. i thought he wanted to come back. he seemed so sure of it too. and now hes back with her. i dont know what to do. i went dark again today i havent called or texted him. im so heartbroken again.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Hi Depress...I do feel for you...I'm sorry I don't have much to offer but a my warm kind thoughts. Please hang in there! I'm sure there is a vet or two who can offer the right advice. I just wanted you to know that I'm so cheering for ya! You got this even though it may not feel like it...jellyb x
Take a deep breath, unfortunately he is involved with OW and is now tangled between his M and his adventure. I have been learning to take care after myself and let go of all the craziness that comes from my H.
The Yo-Yo of emotions, the roller coaster of indecision, it will drain all your energy and you go nowhere.
It's time to retrieve and take a good view of what is going on, what has happened and what need to happen. You can't control his actions, reactions, decisions. You can't control what he feels and what is happening to him.
The only one you can control is yourself and your life. So, it;s time you need to make the most for yourself. Start looking for things you can do that will take your main focus from your H. You will feel better and it will give you the strength you need to fight for your M.
As you know, there is no guarantees that there will be any R, but you will at least know that you tried it all. By other hand, you also know that your H is very confused, he got lost and for sure is having and will have a hard time dealing with his guilty, shame. It will haunt him until he comes to his senses.
That you need to lose all your hope? NO. You can hope that some time in the future you can find that love again and be happy together. That you need to just have hope and sit around moping? NO. You need to became attractive, beautiful, interesting, mysterious. You need to develop a life on your own.
Read the stories here and start learning that you don't want to pursue, be needy, go after him as he was the main reason for your life. Time makes us stronger, time will teach you to give yourself value and allow you to learn to put yourself first.
I know it is the hardest thing you will ever do. It hurts, and then hurt a little more. But it is the only way. You will need to became a woman only a fool will leave. You will analyse the situation and stop going on cheeseless tunnels.
Start by telling us what you are doing for yourself. Are you taking any antidepressant to easy the shaking, the constant pain, anxiety, depression? Do you exercise frequently? Do you have hobbies? What are you planning to do as GAL? Do you have a friend or two to support you during this difficult time?
Do you have family around that can help? You need to focus on you now and start feeling good about yourself.
Let your H do what he needs to do, eventually he will wake up and see all what he is doing. In the mean time, be prepared that he will try to came back, he will be confused and will try to drag you along the insanity. If you are religious, keep your faith strong now, it helps big time.
Be strong honey, you have a long way to go. Remember that it is not a sprint, it is a Marathon.
Thanks pink for your support. I'm trying to find my inner happiness. I had totally forgotten who I was since I was giving it all to my kids. But now I need to focus on me. Working is helping since we're not allowed to use phones I'm not getting the urge to call him or snoop.. but I really am trying to find me...
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Thanks pink for your support. I'm trying to find my inner happiness. I had totally forgotten who I was since I was giving it all to my kids. But now I need to focus on me. Working is helping since we're not allowed to use phones I'm not getting the urge to call him or snoop.. but I really am trying to find me...
I think it's pretty typical to lose a sense of who we really are when we get married and have a family. There is a balance, it just takes work to find it. Find one thing you really enjoy doing and make time to do it...reading, writing, painting, gardening, cooking, baking, hiking, kayaking, photography....schedule time for at least one fun activity for yourself each week, and like you would a Dr. appt make sure you do it.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
Hi lost. I have started taking the kids to the park. Warmer weather. It's helping by working amd getting my mind off of snooping calling and all of that. Things are a little bit better but still need more work. Is it wrong to want to have sex with him or have sex with him... I'm thinking not but I feel like of we have sex he'll start getting more attached to me. He'll see that our making love is real and not some fantasy. What you think. Even tho I know your answer.
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
