Ahg, I wish I can just make my suitcase and visit RD. Drink some cold Irish beer (maybe even get drunk), go riding a bike with RD and forget all this crazy life.
But, it is what it is right now and I need to just hang in there and do my best for the time I have.
RD, sometimes I feel that the world is very small and that I am able to reach to everything with my hand, my toughs. But sometimes I feel so small, the world is such a giant place and I feel so alone.
I know I am a strong person, but I also know the price I pay for being the way I am. I think sometimes that I just want to lay my head on your lap and be one of RD's girls. Get that big Daddy's comfort and just rest and be in peace.
Thanks for being there for me RD, I know how much you admire me and because of that I have so much strength to keep going.
Sister, your words are a translation of my sitch. As usual, Toots is such a smart girl. I will follow your advice and keep going. Being Pink and having a life, a life with my boys too.
Spring is here and makes it easier to have some fun. I believe I did the right thing and have been endorsed by many of my DB friends here. I will keep on this road and start taking charge of my sitch. I won't let H do whatever anymore, it just hurt me if I do.
My H is all over the place right now, so I will do my best to be like Toots said and detach as much as I can.
Hi Pink. This is your time and by living your life I really believe that your H will start to see the light. I would love to spend time with you and your boys. My kids would love to meet them and we have plenty of quads and go carts and even a golf buggy to play on in the garden. We could have a few beers and talk about our WAS and our great DB friends. The bike ride would be a blast and I would try my best to scare Pink but I would say that would take some doing!!!!!! If the weather is warm I have a 100 ft sheet of plastic that I spread out in the garden , which has a slope , and we put the hose on it and dive along it , water going everywhere !!!!! Pink and her boys would love it. One of my favourite things is to drive up to glendalough just before daybreak and park the car at the top and watch the sun come up. Hot chocolate and breakfast roll in hand. Pink , I may be old fashioned but I believe a lady should be cherished and appreciated for who she is at the same time. Pink would only need comfort for a short time as the real Pink will soon be back.
Pink you are admired and your kind words to others shows how much caring and love is inside you. Your H will be a very sorry man if he doesn't get his act together because Pink will be fine , she will live and love and be a fantastic partner for someone who deserves her.
I posted my hearts thoughts on Toots thread recently because firstly she seemed a bit down on herself iand secondly and more importantly she deserves it. I am stunned that ladies like yourself (and Vanillia and Rppfl and many others) have WAS because you all seem fantastic to me.
Pink , I love my W and have never looked elsewhere in 24 years BUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for being Pink You are very special and a friend.
I wish I could have a choice but I don't. My path is clear and I need to let H do what he needs to do.
I need to take care after myself and my boys. I don't think it is very easy but it is necessary.
Sometimes I am strong, sometimes I am in pieces. These are my consequences. Sometimes I feel there is hope, sometimes it is all done and past, these are my wounds.
The truth is that it is a new life, nothing will be the same again. Maybe it is for best, I don't know.
Dear pink, believe it is for the best. None of us here will come out the same people we used to be. We all have new understanding and we work hard for it. So,if the new pink reattracts H, it is for the best, but then – you may not want him anymore and a partner more in line with your evolution will be there for you. One life, to live and enjoy. I think I remember you saying that your mother also once made a very hard choice, but she was a happier lady for it in the end. I am sorry that you still have days that hurt so much.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
Love you with all my heart, please forgive me for doing this. Was sick for the whole week, got a bug or something. Had fever and was very weak. I think it's finally catching up with me and my body is taking the it hard.
I feel a little better. Did it all I need to do during the week but resign from any GAL for the weekend. It is just too much to handle right now.
I am at work now. I want to catch up with all the paperwork and have a nice week without too much stress.
Work has been good, spoke w/my director and the support is so appreciated. I have a green light from everyone now to get my Orthotic certificate and then I will be able to see my own patients. Feel really good about it.
Next Thursday will be my last class for the financial class I have been doing. Really good for me, learned a lot and will be able to apply some of the stuff towards my own financials.
My boys are good. Hurting with the total absence of their father. I really want to see to good side of him, but when I hear my kids comments of how it is not having a father, I can't denied that he loses a lot in my eyes.
My father was an in an off alcohol, but he was a present father, he gave us the love he knew how, but he was there. We had times of sadness, fight, but we also have many moments of happiness, laughter, enjoyment, respect, he wants us to be happy. I tough he was not the best father, but now I see that he was not so bad and my kids have the bad one.
It's hurting me a lot, by one hand I love this man and would like the opportunity to make a new life beside him, by other hand he is an empty jar, he left his family, does not have any respect or value for it, uses it as he wants and pleases, and then he is off again. He is a poor person in spirit and character right now. My heart is divided, I can't be so irresponsible, I am crazy but I know what is family.
So I will work some more now, I will try to catch up on everyone's thread asap. Love you all with all my heart and miss you all.
