Texted wife to see if there was any conflict with taking S4 to dinner tonight.
She replied that there wasn't, and that she was thinking about going out tonight.
I simply replied, "Please do."
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
Just had a wave of sadness and tears hit... This woman was my best friend, my first and only lover, and the woman I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with!
And I don't even recognize her anymore! Everything is a lie at this point, and it JUST HURTS!
I HATE IT when these emotions cycle, but I will get through this. I will persevere.
Funny thing is, I also can't wait for her to move out... Talk about internal conflict!
Last edited by JAS84; 04/22/1506:12 PM.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
I tried to take a harder line with W today about going out, and told her to take a couple changes of clothes, and come back on move-out day. She responded and said that she would take S if she were to do that. I told her that would not be necessary, and she responded that I shouldn't back off and sugar-coat my statements (I didn't?)
I told her to make her choice, because she was going to do what she wanted to anyway. She went on a tirade about being a prisoner in the house, and I said that she is free to go, and she is not welcome here. She replied that she hasn't been welcome there for a month, and I agreed. I also stated that regardless of her choice, the custody schedule would stand.
She did not take any clothes.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
W decided not to come back last night. As a result, the morning has been peaceful thus far.
I left her a voicemail message asking whether she would be picking up our son from daycare today, and whether she would be moving out early. Asked to please call me back and let me know.
We'll see if she does.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
Received a text message saying she would pick our son up from daycare, and would bring him home this evening.
I replied, "Okay. Thank you for responding."
I honestly can't wait until she is out. All she has been doing lately is making things more complicated.
I have a L consultation this afternoon, and another on Monday. Looking forward to getting more information on how to handle the situation from a legal perspective.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
L cancelled this afternoon's consultation, so a little bummed about that...
But, I've been having a REALLY good day today! I'm still going to cut out of work early, and go do something. It's cold out today, so I don't know. Maybe the gym. Maybe go and hang out at Dad's house for a bit. Maybe just go for a drive, or have a beer and early dinner.
I haven't felt this free in years!
----------------
Had a friend send me some topic-specific children's books, and read a couple last night with S4. It seemed to unlock some of his feelings regarding the S. We had a talk about feelings, and how Mom and Dad would be there for him, even if we were in different homes.
I asked him what his feelings were, and he replied that he was sad, mad, and that he doesn't like Mom's "friend". I asked him if Mom's "friend" was nice, and he said yes, but he just doesn't like him. He is sad that he won't get to see his dogs all the time, and that he has to split up his toys, and that Mommy is moving out. He is mad that he will have to go back and forth between homes, and that he will have to go to a new school.
My heart breaks for him. I told him it will be hard, but that he can always tell me how he feels, and we can talk on the phone when he's with Mommy, and play, and do fun things together while he is with me.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
I realize that I am not receiving replies to my thread, partly because I am not being reciprocal, and partially because my methods are all over the place.
I also understand that my situation is VERY dire, and that I am quite possibly causing more damage by what I have done, and am doing.
Because of the situation, I cannot properly start DB-ing until W is out of the house. I am having too much trouble making sure S4 is going to be OK, and keeping the household running to deal with W and our issues. In this whole thing, the role has been reversed: She is the one who is not doing anything, "winging it" with S4 and assuming he will be fine, and just not giving a damn.
I get that she is checked out, and that it is my home to run now. I will do it, and I will do well.
Regardless, I would still appreciate feedback and criticism, if anyone would spare a few seconds for me.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
Let go. The marriage, the relationship, as it once was, is over. All that is left is to be a great man, a great father, and a role model to your son.
You can do this, you must do this, You WILL do this!
Last edited by JAS84; 04/24/1505:29 AM.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
Hard to sleep last night... Slipped up and snooped again.
Me: 30, W: 29 S: 4 T: 14 M: 5 BD: March, 2015, ILYBNILWY, IDLY, Need Space OM, EA/PA Discovered (drunken kissing, she says she stopped there? NOPE!): March 2015 S: April 25th, 2015
JAS-I think you are right. This will get better when you two are physically separated. I believe this has been my downfall of detaching and frankly the desire to find more information. The trouble with that information is that if nothing is done with it, it is only more torture. Might as well squirt lemon juice in your eyes instead.
You have all the information you need right now, the wheels are in motion. All you can do right now is be a great man and great father.
Keep it up - I am rooting for you.
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
