Bob, I think they sense when you have let go. We all say this but it is really impossible to fake. You can keep some semblance of pride by following the DB rules until you actually are able to let go.
Hello Lisa,
I just noticed this in your post way back on 4/20. Thanks for the good advice/encouragement.
I keep forgetting to check in on you. How are you today?
(((Lisa)))
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Interestingly enough, I really do not feel I want him back at all. I am not attracted to him physically and I find him immature and repulsive at this stage. I wonder if he has drastically changed or I am just seeing him in a new way. But we get along fine actually and I feel friendly toward him, other than my complete and irrational anger when it comes to other women.
I can completely relate to this!!!
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Yuck, I just ran across another facebook photo, this one of WAH and OW1 on vacation together! WHAT? They are with a group of other people but still it is irritating. Oddly the STDs that they probably gave each other and their filthy rotten souls are not visible in the photo. They look attractive! haha
I was very good about not looking at his social media at all for probably 5 months. Now on a little stalking bender. Do not like how it makes me feel. Lesson learned, get off the snooping train here!
Interesting updates from you, Lisa! You sound upbeat as always despite the social media binge. What's brought that on? Do you need further validation that your H is a fool?? We can tell you that, no need for social media....
H 37 Me 36 Together 15 years Married 5 years No kids BD Apr 2014 H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Thank you for the post on my thread. Glad you are back my lovely.
All this talk of dating, isn't the most important thing what you think of them? If you are not interested then they chase you, thinking you are available?
if dating is scary could you re frame it perhaps, to exploration or psychological research instead?
No mind to H, let him be who he wants to be, since H hasn't resolved his issues, its another go on the merry-go-round for H with yet another lovely lass damaged. I'm sad for that, at least a scuzzy isn't worth a second thought.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 05/03/1509:00 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Yuck, I just ran across another facebook photo, this one of WAH and OW1 on vacation together! WHAT? They are with a group of other people but still it is irritating. Oddly the STDs that they probably gave each other and their filthy rotten souls are not visible in the photo. They look attractive! haha
I was very good about not looking at his social media at all for probably 5 months. Now on a little stalking bender. Do not like how it makes me feel. Lesson learned, get off the snooping train here!
Lisa, you're very welcome!
I'm so happy that you realize it's best not to look at H's social media. I bet he hopes you do to make you jealous, upset, whatever his dumb motives are.
Please, no more social media regarding your H, okay? It's for your own good.
Hugs back at you!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Hey Lisa...I can totally understand the curiosity....it's like touching to stove to see if it still burns...lol
I so agree...dating is scary!! Sometimes I think I really want to date and other times I'm feeling very MeH. about it. I'm just trying to enjoy my life. I was on a spontaneous date tonight. It was alright but I was happy to get home to my dog.ahahah.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Hi friends! Thanks for following along with me and commiserating!
I love what you said about the hot stove Karma, it is exactly like that. I avoided his social media for so long because I knew how much it pained me. Then something made me curious and I looked and it made me sick and annoyed. Lesson learned (for now).
He's taken to doing a strange thing. We share a love for food and dining experiences. He's started sending me links to his online reviews of restaurants on those websites which I think I can't mention by name but you know what I mean... And the reviews are clearly from his dates. For example "We shared a bottle of red wine and then we had the chicken and the fish. Both were good, and we had the chocolate souffle and the lemon cheesecake for dessert." We used to be really into these reviews so he's ostensibly sending them to me as a friendly gesture, he couches it as "you should really go to this new restaurant, check out my review".
Upon first read I am a bit irritated that he is on a date and going to a nice restaurant. Then I am uncomfortable reading in detail about what his date eats! It's just weird!
I can hear you all saying that I should tell him not to send them to me. Yes, I thought of that. But then I know he will turn it around and say that I am bitter and jealous. I'd rather he not have that satisfaction.
I feel I can handle reading them or just avoiding them instead of asking him not to share, but I find it VERY strange and I wonder why he is doing this? Is he so stupid that he thinks I want to read the details about his dates? Strange.
Mostly I do find myself a bit bitter but moving on.
One thing I will mention for those newbies out there is that I never cry over him anymore. I may still feel a bit anxious or upset but I don't feel that overwhelming sadness.
I'm trying to date, but I have to admit I am not exactly enthusiastic about it. I can't get too excited about most guys and tend to be nervous with those I do find interesting and attractive. And not nervous in the butterflies in the stomach way, more like "he will break my heart in a million pieces" way. Yuck. But I'm trying.
I never really talk about GAL on here, but that's because I mostly GAL like crazy and that's not really my problem. I go to lots of parties and social activities and meet lots of people. I could probably do more new activities that challenge me but I seem to be very busy lately. It's on my list though.
Hope all of you are doing well my friends! Hugs! Lisa B
I was going to reply that you should send him a review of some things you do with your next man that are slightly more graphic...but good for you for taking the high road
WAS's. What are you going to do...
Glad you've been doing ok LB!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Tomorrow yoga...