Ok just found after some snooping that my WAS is on anti-depressant. Can a WAS get depressed after instigating a separation? I mean shouldn't he feel relieved after telling me he's been so stressed with this M?
I want to support him through this but I also want to protect myself from the emotional pain of interacting with him. He doesn't have any close friends here and all his family is in the UK. Any advice?
On another note - had a great GAL weekend with my girls and friends. Also joined a yoga class, so here's hoping things are better this week.
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
Thanks Cadet. I know I cannot fix him. He can only do it himself. Am I wrong not to have seen this? I feel so horrible and the 'if only' question comes to mind. So our M is collateral damage to his depression?
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
Can depression also make them cool and nasty towards you? I just accidently eavesdrop on his conversation to his mum, and he mentioned that I've hardly been around going out and that its quite "pathetic". He sounded so vindictive about me
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
Thanks Cadet. I am in the process of detaching. Though he lives downstairs, communication has been mainly through text and email and face to face when we see the separation counsellor and the counsellor for the kids.
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
So WAS got home from work today and he looked like a mess. He asked where our Ds were and I told him they were with my mum. OK he said he'll pick them up. But all he did was sit in his car with the engine running for 2 minutes and walked inside his unit. I think he was having another anxiety attack. My suspicion was confirmed when I went up to his door to check on him. He came out with shortness of breath. I asked if he was ok? He said he was fine. I offered to have the girls so that he could settle himself. I think he was relieved.
So I've decided to talk to my MIL tonight, to discuss my concerns. I've tried to detach (sometimes successful) but its hard particularly with kids. Also I do not want anything to happen to him particularly if he has the girls.
Anyone have advice on how to detach fully with kids?
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
Hang in there. I know that it is so hard right now. Just only in the past few weeks have I started to feel better about myself. I know that I can make it with out H. Not my preference, but I can do it and will if I have to.
I think we have a long road ahead of us. Hang in there. Detaching really does help. By this I am referring to feelings, not necessarily contact from H. To hard to do living together.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
So I spoke to my MIL to discuss my concerns. It was an emotional talk for both of us. At least she now knows how stressed my H has been since last year and I have done all that is needed.
On other news, my H noticed I wasn't home when he got home, he asked my cousin where I was, my cousin replied I was working late, will be back by 7pm, but actually I was doing a GAL activity - yoga! He then said to me "I know I'm not your timekeeper but can you tell me if you are home late so he can tell the girls, as apparently my youngest D kept asking him where I was today? Err wasn't he told I'd I was working late and will be home by 7pm?
Confused as much..
Me: 39 yrs H:45 yrs M:14 years T:18 years D:10 D:6 BD: 13/04/15 S: in progress
