For me, some things are so simple in hindsight but it takes another's perspective to see what should be obvious. Having kids is a big plus in communicating as it is a conversation starter to see how they've been etc. I'm sure there are plenty of other neutral topics for others to use.
You make a valid point about detachment. Being at the point where every utterance from your WAW doesn't have you swaying one way or the other surely has to be the way to go.
BD - 30TH JAN 2015 S - 30TH JAN 2015 PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014) CONTINUAL TALK OF D ME: 31 W: 28 T: 10yrs M: 4.5yrs D:5, S:6
Desperate for some advice.. I'm in a committed 2 year relationship, but we don't live together yet. Now suddenly his feelings "has changed" and "he doesn't feel the same" and so on.
We (mostly him) has asked for time and space to think things through and that he doesn't want to be persuaded into going on with the relationship. My reply was that I had no plan to persuade him, I want him to want to stay..
Do you think these rules, pulling away, not contacting him but wait for him, and so on would be the best option for me as well? Haven't spoken for 24 hours now and it's really getting to me.
Don't think other woman is involved.. Thankful for ANY advice!!! I need it bad..
Hope it's ok that I ask even though were not married..
Last edited by Cadet; 08/16/1609:56 AM. Reason: combine posts
M: 44 H: 43 ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect. "This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15 Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15 It's over: 9/5
Great set of rules. They seem mostly to apply to LBS doing LRT. My situation is not yet there but potentially could get there.in such a case is the advice to follow all the rules anyway or can some be ignored to start with.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because he/she is hurting and scared.
I would like to rewrite this one to be
Do not believe anything they say and 50% of what they do.
32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because he/she is hurting and scared.
I would like to rewrite this one to be
Do not believe anything they say and 50% of what they do.
Point is believe Actions over Words.
Cadet,
I see your point. Sandi, what do you think about Cadet's suggestion?
Thank you both!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Rereading the rules there are none that I have real reason to question. If I come across one specifically that feels inappropriate to my situation I'll ask about it in my post.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
