Hi Sandi I was wondering about the part where you say "Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel?" -- is there a time that you should give up? How do you keep your self respect. How do you protect yourself from suffering needlessly.. if you just hang on? I find it so so hard to let go...and that's why I am not giving up. But I wonder if I should try more to let go? what do you mean "do not give up?"
Hi LMS, so sorry to read your story. It's great that you are posting on other people's threads, but you will get a lot more personalized help and responses if you start your own thread. Click on the "For Newcomers" link above, and then "New topic"
Hang in there!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Hi Sandi I was wondering about the part where you say "Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel?" -- is there a time that you should give up? How do you keep your self respect. How do you protect yourself from suffering needlessly.. if you just hang on? I find it so so hard to let go...and that's why I am not giving up. But I wonder if I should try more to let go? what do you mean "do not give up?"
What she means by not giving up is by not being tempted to call or text or email.
What she means by not giving up is by not being tempted to call or text or email.
Perhaps Sandi would clarify. That is not at all the way I interpreted it. I took it to mean do not give up on DB'ing just because it seems hopeless. If she meant this to apply to a particular "rule", I would think she would have said "don't give IN".
H:54 W:46 D:11 D:21 M:12 BD:1/15 In-house Separation 2/15 DB started 7/15, W sees consistency 9/15 Dropping the rope and having her leave 2/16, moves 5/16 Reconciliation 1/17 Obviously still struggling
I will add: making a choice based on your feelings is often wrong. The feeling of hopelessness could fade - but if you've taken action in that time, it may not be taking you toward your goals!
So, after reading the rules and trying to apply them, I still have a question about talking to my spouse. He has moved out and I am not texting or calling him, just answering and trying to be upbeat. He asks lots of questions about my day which, when I try to be brief, he asks more. I don't want to cut him off or be cold. Also, is it okay to ask him how he's doing since he is asking me? Is this still pursuing, and if so, is that so bad if one of his complaints is that he felt that I did 't love him, merely tolerated him?
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
Hi Sandi2. I want to thank you for your wonderful posts particularly the WW posts. I am almost 100% sure that my WW is having an A. It would explain a great many things. However I do agree that I don't know the WW I am barely married to anymore. Her heart has heartened, turned cold and vindictive and I still don't know why since she won't talk to me except by email.
I just find it extremely difficult to understand how one can go from being love to being extremely cold. This is a concept that I still trying to understand. That said I have not contacted her at all since she left.
I just find it extremely difficult to understand how one can go from being love to being extremely cold. This is a concept that I still trying to understand. That said I have not contacted her at all since she left.
