Hi 3K - I was glad to read your post, and good for you! This is the only part I would comment on...
"Lesson learnt, stuff them emotions in a box. They are no good!"
Stuffing your emotions into a box sounds like denying them. And once in that box, they tend to grow and start worming their way out.
Also, how you feel, your emotions - they just 'are.' If you say they are bad, you're again denying what you feel. I think it's best to accept how you feel, sit with it for a little while, talk or post to others about it. Let yourself do all of that and then keep moving forward.
You're doing really well I think.....(((3Kids)))
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi all! Had a great day with the kids. The oldest is over at a friends. And both the young two have friends over. I haven't heard so much laughter in the house in a long time. Me and the oldest got some great news today. He got invited to move up a couple of age groups in baseball this year for summer baseball. I told him this year he would have to except that in some sports he or his friends would move up age levels. Which he is the first. I'm so very proud. You don't even understand. Plus he is handling it under extrem sircustanses. He vented a lot to me today and to his brother and sister after his basketball tourney.
First time he let a lot out in a long time. Thought I would have a couple of holes in my wall at the end of it. But he just hit the pillows instead. I think it helped him a great amount. His sister of course was talking about how she is so excited for moms new place. And he went off. She not going there just like all the other places. If she does it's maybe for a year and then she'll move again. And maybe she will move far away. Then maybe she will come visit me. That's her choice I don't care anymore. She's not our mom and hasn't been in a long time. I don't know who she is but she's not mom.
He holds so much in so it was good to see it come out. I didn't like that much anger towards his mom but they are his feelings. I was just so happy to see him let them out. The daughter just wants to believe so much in her mom. It's so hard to see so much pain in them and not be able to help much.
Happy to have my kids laughing. Makes it a great night!
Thanks 3kids
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Hi PM! Things are great for me. I couldn't be more proud of my oldest. He is accomplishing all of his dreams. Last week he did have a problem with one of his teachers. Got his first detention ever. Me and the wife sat him down explained every thing and got him on the right track again. Turns out the teacher is on a list to get fired anyways because of his teaching style. Just two people butting heads and not understanding one another.
Two bad things did happen though, got my bank account stolen. Bank is still working on that. And my fuel pump went out on my truck. But every thing is ok.
Work is great got another raise. Plus might be moving my company, which could mean big big bucks in my future. Really excited for that. I was starting to look else where for another career but now I have to see where this plays.
Kids are great! Just found out last night I get them for three weeks in a row. The wife still wants them on her weekend. The wife is failing school. She talked to some people and she might be able to still pass, some how if she gets every thing done and A's on all her tests.
Probably didn't show the best, I guess you would call it caring of her situation. She asked if I could handle them for three weeks and be ok with them. I told her of course I could, I told her three weeks ago she should have done this. She told me I was acting like a jerk and not caring. I just simply said I'm not a jerk but my caring has stopped, that was the job of a husband, good luck and I hope you pass school.
I'm just done with her hurting my heart there has got to be a women out there that would love me for me. Not that I'm looking but right now I don't see it in her. The kids tell me that OM is probably not going to buy that house(not his favorite choice in houses) but we will see where that goes.
I'm just so excited to have my kids for the next three weeks. Can't wait to figure out all the stuff we can do in our busy lives. Yah me!!!
Thanks 3kids
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
So I've recently got the kids for the next three weeks from the wife. Because she is failing college and needs to focus on school. With the agreement that she gets to see the kids on her days if she finds time and she gets them on her weekend. She just called to see if I could watch the kids on her weekend also. Not a big deal to me it's just for three weeks and I've asked if she wants to see kids to let me know in advance so it's not going to reck our plans or I can make personal plans. She tried the other day to put basically a crie blurt to me and see if I still cared about her thing. It was more about her and I let her know I was doing all this for the kids and so she didn't flunk college. No other alternative motives(being mean or using it against her). And that me caring about her is nothing more than helping out with the kids and not about being her husband anymore. She thought that was mean that I didn't care anymore about her and we left it at that.
Am I right in doing all this for some one who has demolished our family?
It is fun having the kids every day! Thanks 3kids
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
Do it for your kids. Do it for you. Don't do it for her, especially if she is going to use guilt and manipulation to lash out at you. You don't need or deserve that.
It seems like she is testing you and doesn't like your responses because it shows she is no longer in control, so she is throwing an immature temper tantrum because things are not going quite as smoothly as she planned.
Don't worry about any of that. Do what you do for the right reasons, and her issues are her issues.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Well my three weeks straight with the kids comes to an end after Tuesday. It's been so much fun! The kids were awesome, they did mention once or twice that they missed their mom but I was able to quickly get their minds off of it. I've gotten to know my kids better than I have ever known them in this time. My oldest looks to constantly seek my apoval and praise in every aspect of life. My daughter needs help. She lacts the self confidence to make new friends and keep old ones. I defiantly need to seek some help for her. She is such an introvert. Her weight is really starting to worry me along with other things. My youngest wants to follow in his big brothers foot steps to a tee. Anything he can do with either of us he is just so happy to do. I really do have the best group of kids in the world!
On the oldest, we have been receiving some really great news towards his baseball career(if you call it that at 13 years old). He has been asked to maltipul age groups because of his catching skills. We are only a couple of weeks into summer ball and he has been asked to join a couple allstar teams from around the area. The varsity coach sat me down and is going to be watching how he progress through out the summer season during games and how he handle calling some of the tougher teams. If all goes like he wants he would like him to be their starting catcher next year(he is only in 8th grade). For a town that is driven by its baseball this is huge news. If any of you are baseball fans you know what I mean. In our home town we have a amateur baseball team and in the stands it's not to uncommon to see a couple of major league vets sitting with us and having a couple beers. So I'm very very excited to see where this all goes for him! He is taking it in like a true pro and dad is just sitting back and watching. So fun to watch!
On the stbxw, she stopped over yesterday to see the kids for a little bit. I try not to ask any questions anymore. But with the first court date in a month and my lawyer asking me what's going on. I had to bring it up. We talked a little bit about it that there is nothing to fight over anymore. The kids are going to be 50-50 on every thing. I agreed to pay child support until she finished school and started her career. Not going to go through the court on that stuff. Just sit down and fill out the paperwork and be done. She tried to get reactions out of me. First it was she is just flipping out about the whole divorce and it's driving her nuts(not one word from me). Then I told her that if she was still going to move that close we need to sit down with the kids and discuss boundaries. Like running back and forth to grab stuff and or wanting to stay at one place when they get mad at the other parent. And how I do not want the kids having free run of my place incase I have company over or what ever. She agreed, but then started on how she still doesn't know if that's a complete go. She tried to go into it all but since I didn't respond or really didn't give a hoot. She stopped and said yah that's my messed up life and you don't care anymore.
So she is still going around and around with OM what's new. I just want the divorce to go as smooth as possible and not fight about anything. Let her life be her messed up life. Once the divorce is final then I can file bankrucy and get my finicals inorder and start my life over(money wise).
Every thing is absoluty going great lately!
I hope all the great MOMs on this board have a fantasic Mother's Day. You all deserve it much more then you will every know it.
Thanks 3kids
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
Of coarse the minute I right all of that, she calls b---Ching about child support. I give up. I just want this to be done. Had to hang up on her. Sent a text saying we can discuss child support at a later time when we both can come to an agreement.
M36/W30 S13,D10,S6 Married 4.5 together 12 Bomb 1/14 EA/PA OM 1/14 still going Served 2/14/14 Separated 3/14 D paused 6/14 6/15 divorced
